


Raise a Glass to Freshman Year

by thebriars



Series: Raise a Glass [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex does something stupid, Angelica is Aromantic, Angelica is a badass, Henry Laurens' A+ Parenting, LEE IS AN IDIOT, Multi, What do you mean "update schedule", as per usual, i suggest reading the first one if you want polysquad fluff and drama, idk what im doing, maria is divorced THANK GOODNESS, maybe it can stand alone but idk, polysquad yall, this is a sequel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2018-12-06 02:03:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 36
Words: 29,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11590692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebriars/pseuds/thebriars
Summary: Sequel to Raise a Glass to InternetMore romance (written by an aromantic), angst, comedy (if you can call it that), and some YouTube shenanigans featuring the squad and our favorite villains. Basically, John, Alex, and Eliza start freshman year and shit goes down.Dudes this is kinda crap but oH WELLUpdates when I write stuff haha high school is hell (but we navigate it well) PSA THIS MEANS I UPDATE ON SUNDAYS BC I DON'T DO ANYTHING ON SUNDAYS SO YA





	1. A Note Yaaaaaaaay (Idk Pt. 1)

Why, hello. Welcome back, if you're here from RAGTI, and WELCOME TO ROSY'S CRAZY LIFE if you're new to this page!! I'm listening to Stay Alive Reprise right now and it's not good for my soul (send help). Anyway, this is a sequel to Raise a Glass to Internet so I suggest reading that one first. So, if you're new here, check that one out. I think this one PHILLIP JUST DIED HELP ME PLEASE AWWWWW HELL YEAH IT'S YORKTOWN BISHES MONSIEUR HAMILTOOOOOOOOOOON sorry about that i have feels. To continue, this could possibly stand on it's own but idk. I haven't really written much yet and the only thing I have planned is Alexander's stupidity. So, here's a little catch-up for y'all.

 

-loooooooooooove (platonically i'm aromantic) from Rosy

 

So. Hi to those of you who survived the wild ride that is RAGTI. Basically, I skipped the break year because I'm lazy af. Here's the scope of things:

 

Alex, John, and Eliza are starting freshman year (hence the title).

Laf, Thomas, and Jemmy are starting sophomore year.

Burr is starting junior year.

Maria, Angelica, and Hercules are starting their Master's.

Peggy is starting her senior year of high school. She goes to boarding school in New York and lives in Eliza and Angelica's apartment.

Polysquad lives in one apartment.

Peggy is dating three college sophomores YOU GO GIRL.

Maria is divorced and has moved closer to the sisters.

The lawsuit is coming along slowly (mah poor bb johnnnnnn)

YOOOOT ITS SCHUYLER SISTERS ANGELICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THIS SONG

Alex is an actual idiot later on.

okokokok its sunrise now ILL STAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GUYS MY BROADWAY PLAYLIST IS GREAT

Theodosia is sorta engaged to Aaron but she's still married and they're basically just waiting now. 

TO YOUR UNIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON TO THE REVOLUTION

Multiple polysquads?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
I REMEMBER THAT NIGHT I JUST MIGHT REGRET THTAT NIGHT FOR THE REST OF MY DAYSLKJLKJHIULGKUKLUGIUUIGYUHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

 

INTELLIGENT EYES IN A HUNGER PANG FRAME

 

THIS IS NOT A GAME

 

i'm sorry i'll stop

 

so, now the story begins

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hahaha no it's the next chapter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE FUNDAMENTAL TRUTHS GUYS

 

THERE'S THREE OF THEM

 

I'M THE OLDEST AND THE WITTIEST 

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WANT HIM ANY LESS

 

nononono i'll stop now for real

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I KNOW MY SISTER LIKE I KNOW MY OWN MIND

 

 

SHE'D BE SILENTLY RESIGNED

 

IT'S ALEXANDER'S EYES MAH DUDES

 

IT'S HIS FUCKING EYES

 

 


	2. Sweaters are Relevant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about that first chapter i'd just drank coffee
> 
>  
> 
> yes it was five pm
> 
>  
> 
> don't judge me

“What the hell is this?” Alex prodded at the cardboard box.

“My art stuff,” John huffed, dropping a second one atop the first.

“This is why you’re broke, babe.”

“Paintings, not supplies, idiot.” John flopped onto the rug. “And I am very proud of being broke, so shut up.”

He was broke, but for the best of reasons. Thankfully, John’s scholarship made it way easier to help pay rent. Maybe he didn’t have funds anymore, but there was still his YouTube channel and his job at Theodosia’s coffee shop on campus. And Laf insisted on helping despite John’s continuous protests.

Alex had already dug into the box, paging through canvases and prints. His laptop was propped open before him, showing some obnoxiously long essay about God knows what.

“I like this one.”

“Why, thank you, kind sir,” John whispered, leaning across Alex’s shoulder and looking down at an impressionism he had did earlier that year of the Schuyler sisters.

“Isn’t that the bridge where Aaron proposed to Theo?” Alex asked, tipping his head up to bump John’s freckled nose. John snorted.

“He’s too young to get married. Same age as Laf.”

“They’re waiting, though, remember?”

“Still.”

Alex squirmed around beneath his boyfriend until he was propped up on his elbows, looking up at John with a cocky grin.

John glanced down, flustered. “You need to take a chill pill.”

“You’re assuming too much.”

“Yeah, well, you’re-,”

Herc poked his head around the corner. “You both need to shut up.”

Alex groaned and slipped out to his laptop. John flopped onto his stomach and checked his watch. “Alex, our shifts start soon.”

“Do I have to?”

John knew that Alexander enjoyed working at Theo’s, no matter how much he complained. It smelled like old books, courtesy of the owner’s vast collection at the back of the shop, and coffee beans. Theodosia had bought the old store a few months ago and it had already grown into a haunt for writers and exhausted college students. Tucked between an antique lamp store and the home of an elderly couple with a basset hound, the store had a distinctly homey feel that John craved. Maybe the store contained a little too much Aaron Burr for Alex’s taste, but John would be forever thankful that Burr had tapped Angelica for some employees.

Laf popped out from their room, holding their hands up in the air with triumph. “Done!”

John turned and choked on his breath. “Is that _my_ sweater? And what are _you_ doing in it?”

It was indeed John’s hoodie, which was a tad bit too small for Laf’s tall frame and completely different from Laf’s usual style.

“I didn’t know you could wear sweaters.”

Laf flipped Alexander off with a haughty elegance that John could only dream of mastering. Herc appeared behind Laf, shaking his head sadly. “ _I_ didn’t know you could make fashion mistakes.”

“Hey!” John protested.

“What? John wears Herc’s sweaters all the time and Alexander wears John’s.” Laf folded their arms across their chest.

Alex was in peals on the floor, shaking in silent mirth. Laf glared particularly hard at him. John rolled to his feet.

“Alex and I have to go.”

“Bon débarras.”

“’kay, thanks babe.”

 

The walk from the sister’s apartment to Maria’s was relatively short, thankfully. Eliza, patient as she was, never wanted to wait to see her girlfriend. God, she was lucky. She was lucky that Maria was divorced. She was lucky Maria was okay. She was lucky that they only lived a few blocks away now.

Maria had moved a few months before, leaving behind the apartment that she had shared with her ex-husband and that was _too damn far_.

New York was steamy. Late August was always the worst. Eliza could taste fall in the air, but the heat lingered.

She was starting her freshman year with Alex and John in a week and a half. It was nerve wracking, sure, but Eliza had a sister and a girlfriend at Columbia who reassured her that she’d live. Eliza was glad to have had a break year, though. It gave her time with Maria and the various charities she worked with.

A short buzz in her bag alerted Eliza to a text.

 

babe<3: I think u just walked by my building

 

babe<3: cute shoes btw are those new

 

You: were u waiting??

 

babe<3: always

 

You: ur right

 

babe<3: yep

 

You: thanks and yeah they’re new

 

Eliza turned around. The languid summer air had her distracted.

 

“I fucking _hate_ this essay. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.” Peggy stabbed the table with fork to prove her point.

Angie glanced up from her own plate, raising an eyebrow. “It’s just a summer assignment, Pegs.”

“I’m already accepted to a fucking Ivy League university! Why do I need to do _homework_ when I’m done?” Peggy dropped her head onto the table and groaned loudly.

“Language.”

“Fuck off.”

“You just want to watch Netflix all day, I suppose?” Angie asked.

“Um, duh!”

“Peggy, you can’t slack off during senior year.” Angie returned to her salad, paging through one of her law books. The lawsuit was going slowly. Interviews with John were difficult for everyone. The media was nosy, despite Angelica’s constant cold shoulder. Her law books were vague and unhelpful. Her father was unsure. His father denied it all.

Alongside that work load, Angelica was starting her master’s degree. There was so much to do- far too much for her to breeze through like she had with her bachelor’s.

Living with your two sisters, both who were in relationships, was always a challenge. Angelica had no answers to their questions about love. She sent them on their way to Herc, but never John or Alex (the poor fools). Angie pressed her voice to the microphone, she squinted out through the bright lights. She held her signs, she chanted, she wrote. Angelica worked constantly.

Lately, she just wanted a break.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short and shitty but it'll get better (??????)


	3. Theodosia's Cafe and Debts Repaid

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these first few chapters are going to be pretty short because we're just catching up on our squad and setting up ALEXANDER HAMILTON'S STUPIDITY HOLY SHIT MAN YOU ARE VERY IDIOTIC

John had fallen asleep on the couch in the back room. Alex popped in with a leftover scone and bent down to press a kiss to John’s forehead. He lingered a little longer, eyes wide as he studied John’s face. Alex had three gorgeous partners. Why did he feel so _empty_ , then?

He jumped away and stuffed the remainder of the scone in his mouth. Alex couldn’t be thinking those thoughts.

The couch was long enough for Alex to sit down beside John and stretch out across the faded pink velvet but something kept him away. Instead, Alex paced out into the cramped café floor: round wooden tables surrounded by a hodge-podge of mismatched chairs topped with mason jars holding pale yellow flowers.

Alex groaned loudly and dragged his hands across his face. It had been over a year since John had revealed his darkest secrets to Alexander. It had been over a year since Laf and Herc had joined their relationship. It had been over a year since Alex had lusted for anything. But, now, it felt as though he needed something else.

No. He _wanted_ something else. Alexander had everything he needed and more.

Could he ever be satisfied?

 

The bed on the left side of the room was already made. James looked over the crinkled fuchsia blanket and gay pride flag with interest. Maybe he’d have something in common with his roommate after all.

He dragged his suitcase over to the other bed. All that James could hope for is that this roommate wasn’t an idiot or a dropout. If James had the confidence, he would have punched Charles Lee in the jaw.

The mattress was thin, but comfortable enough for James. He sat down carefully and studied the small room. The window let in enough light that James didn’t feel the need to turn on the overhead fluorescent at all.

Unpacking was one of the few things in life that James was vocal about his hatred for. Packing had some sort of drive. Unpacking was merely depressing, for whatever reason it was.

The door slammed open and the light flickered on with unprecedented vigor.

“Bonjour, I’m Thomas Jefferson. What’d I miss?”

 

Maria carded her fingers through Eliza’s hair, smoothing out the few tangles nestled in the shimmering ebony locks. Eliza was talking excitedly about the convention she had attended for some charity the previous week. Maria was masking her giggles at Eliza’s surprising passion.

She had never thought she’d end up here- divorced, successful YouTuber, college graduate, openly pansexual, with a wonderful girl nestled between her legs. The past year had been her saving grace.

Eliza had floated into her life at just the right time, accompanied by two amazing sisters and four best friends. Maria was painfully aware of the fact that Eliza had saved her life, figuratively and literally.

Maria Lewis (not Reynolds) was a woman who understood debts and the fact that they must be paid back.

How was someone supposed to pay back a debt that large?

“Eliza?”

“Yeah?”

Maria hesitated, watching Eliza twist in her lap so that they were facing each other completely. She cleared her throat carefully. “How can I repay you?”

Eliza looked shocked. “For what?”

“For… everything, I guess.” Maria bent her head, only to feel Eliza’s soft hand cupping her chin and pulling her back up to eye level.

“You owe me nothing.”

“I owe you my life.”

Eliza paused for a moment, clearly turning words over in her mind. Instead of speaking, however, she merely enveloped Maria in a gentle kiss.

When they pulled apart, lips still nearly touching, Eliza spoke. She started slowly. “Maria. If I’m correct, I believe I have your heart. And that’s enough for me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahaha i'm aro ace that probably sucked
> 
> also i got myself addicted to turn (ben tallmadge is so damn cool and simcoe is everything i aspire to be like did you see him clapping sarcastically in that cart holy shit) and have now been listening to the soundtrack on constant repeat


	4. Late Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YO I'M BACK
> 
> anyway i just felt like polysquad fluff was a good decision (when is it not?)

They were sandwiched together in the big armchair, Peggy’s favorite. Herc was drifting into sleep, his face nestled between Laf’s shoulder blades. Herc had relented and let Laf have a shot or two earlier in the night. He felt responsible, somehow, for Laf and Alex and John. They were his partners, all a bit younger than him (which made him a bit uncomfortable at first), and Eliza had christened him the second “mom friend” of the group.

He took it to heart. Herc was no half-hearted mom friend.

Laf was warm beneath him, the buzz of alcohol still pulsing through their veins. Herc didn’t really regret it, though. Laf was fucking _adorable_ when they were tipsy. Far clingier than normal, which led to both tangled in a single chair.

Neither of them were small people, either. Now, Alex and John could probably do it comfortably. Herc? There was no way that he could rest like this. Or so he thought.

Sleep was a fuzzy darkness at the edge of Laf’s light. Herc felt himself start to draw it in, ever so slightly. Inch by inch, the night crept closer.

 

The front door unlocked with a satisfying _click_ , swinging open into the dimly lit entry. Light flooded from the kitchen, but the living room was dark. John glanced back at Alexander, who was talking a mile a minute, and pressed a finger to his lips. Alex fell silent, his coffee eyes focusing on the freckled digit, his lips parting gently beneath its weight.

John needed to stop getting so damn turned on by every action his boyfriend made. Not as if anyone could truly blame him- Alexander Hamilton was undeniably handsome. No, not handsome. Beautiful. Breathtaking. Perfection itself, wrapped in swirling clouds of genius and reckless innocence. Alexander was a force of nature somehow contained in a small, gorgeous human body. John imperceptibly shook his head, clearing the thoughts, and drifted into the apartment. Alex locked the door as silently as possible, and yet the sound seemed to reverberate throughout the room.

The pair slipped into the kitchen, Alex’s eyes reflecting the golden light and reminding John of those swirly coffees Theodosia whipped up.

Standing out against the relative order of the room (Laf was a bit of an organization freak), a pair of shot glasses and an opened bottle of alcohol lay strewn across the counter. John met Alex’s equally surprised gaze.

“Looks like they were busy,” the latter whispered. John smiled. Alex’s voice was a little raspy and low, making his head spin and his heart stutter over its rhythmic beats.

“Yeah,” he replied. The word felt empty, but nothing in the dictionary seemed appropriate for the moment. John wanted to pour his heart out, and yet he wanted to say something witty and smart that would make Alex laugh, and the other part merely wanted to let his actions do the talking.  

The pair moved to put away the bottle, but a faint snore interrupted their motions. Alex grinned and gestured for John to follow him.

There was no reluctance in John’s actions. Part of him knew he would go with Alexander Hamilton to the edge of the universe and back in a Volkswagen Beetle with nothing more than a pack of cheap beers and John’s art supplies.

A trip to the living room with his hand in Alex’s nearly felt like one. God, he was fucking _hopeless_.

John prided the independence in the polysquad’s relationship. He was appreciative of the individuality and the intimate two-person connections intertwined with their mutual love. Sometimes, though, he just felt like being clingy. Was that such an issue?

His eyes fell on the other two, curled tightly in the armchair beside the window, Herc’s face pressed into Laf’s back.

He could have sworn that he _melted_.

“Should we wake them up?”

Alex seemed to contemplate. He wasn’t contemplating fast enough, though, and John answered the question for him.

“They’re going to need to brush their teeth after drinking _that_. I’ll get them in bed.”

“Brilliant as always, Laurens.”

“Thank you.”

John roused them, gently, with a careful shoulder tap. This was never something he’d dared to do with his father. There was a certain element of danger to the action that made his gut churn.

Laf woke slowly, their eyes drifting open as though they were weighed down. They smiled. “Bonjour,” they whispered. John pressed a light kiss to their temple.

“C’mon, you gotta brush your teeth and stuff.”

“Do I _have_ to?”

John laughed lightly. “Your skin will age if you wear your makeup to bed, babe.”

“Ugh, fuck, you are correct.” Laf stirred themself from the chair and padded to the bathroom, but not before ghosting their own lips across John’s freckles, pausing for a brief moment to look down lovingly. Then they were gone.

Herc was still asleep. Probably a little more drunk and _definitely_ a heavier sleeper, he would be hard to wake up. John shook his shoulder, gently, and waited.

Nothing.

“Herc, babe, come on.” John shook harder.

Alex appeared beside him, having been putting away the glasses, and looked up with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “I got this.”

“Oh no you-,” John hissed, but Alexander had already launched himself forward and was jumping on the chair.

“Jesus _Christ_!” Herc yelled, his eyes flying open. He looked rather murderous. John shrunk away. “Alexander Hamilton, what the actual _fuck_? I swear….”

But Herc rose, shaking his head. Alex hopped down. John hovered back, eyes wary on Herc.

His boyfriends seemed to notice.

“Oh, God, John, I’m sorry,” Herc whispered, eyes going wide.

“What? No, you’re good,” John said, breathlessly. Herc pulled him in for a hug, enveloping the smaller boy in warmth and comforting power.

 

Laf watched Alexander change with curiosity. They had somehow ended up with- not one- but _three_ brilliant, beautiful, and kind boyfriends. They had never thought that anything remotely close to this would happen. _Could_ happen.

Herc and John came into the bedroom, doing some sort of weird hug-walk combination that hardly looked comfortable. Laf snorted at them, raising their eyebrows and snuggling back into the pillows.

“Don’t judge,” John said, sleep tugging at his voice.

“I’m not; you’re just cute like that.”

Alexander flopped down onto the bed, sporting olive green sweatpants that looked an awful lot like John’s. Herc dropped down beside Laf, followed by John.

They lay together, strewn across Laf’s obscenely large mattress like stray puddles of exhausted college kids. After a moment, Laf couldn’t quite take it anymore.

Alex’s mouth was soft beneath theirs, moist and warm. The pair moved slowly at first, drifting back towards the headboard. During that time, John had somehow managed to work between them, dragging Herc along.

Laf suddenly realized that they had switched over to John sometime in the exchange and that said boyfriend was _straddling Laf’s hips_.

“I want to kiss your freckles, John. Every single one of them,” Laf panted, using the moments between kisses to utter out individual words. John fell back for a moment, a red blotch forming under his jaw and his lips swollen, chest rising and falling in quick succession like ocean waves. He threw Laf a cocky grin, ignoring the other two (who were passionately throwing themselves against each other).

“They’re everywhere.”

_“Exactly.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> laf is a flirt™


	5. Law Books and James Madison

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fast update
> 
> FOR ONCE

They woke up together, tangled in the thick quilts Mrs. Schuyler stitched as stress relief. Eliza glanced up to find Maria observing her sleepily. The sunlight streaming through the slats of the blinds caught in the frizzy curls around Maria’s face and glowed like some sort of halo.

“Good morning,” Eliza whispered, her voice hoarse. She rested a hand along Maria’s cheek, dragging it across caramel skin ever so slowly.

“Good morning, indeed.” Maria pressed a soft kiss to Eliza’s temple, sending low shivers along her spine. Why were her girlfriend’s lips so undeniably _perfect_? Soft, full, and naturally crimson. Eliza mourned her own thin, pale lips. Not that Maria seemed to mind at all.

“You want tea?” Eliza offered, even though she never wanted to leave the warmth and comfort of her bed.

“How very English,” Maria teased, smiling against Eliza’s forehead.

“That’s not an answer.”

“Haha. Yeah, I do, but later. I’m not moving for a few years.”

Eliza giggled, oddly relieved. “Me neither.”

They held each other for an eternity, but what is an eternity when you’re with the person you love? Eliza turned the thought over in her mind, never doubting for once that she was in love with Maria Lewis. It was impossible not to be.

“Maria?”

“Yeah, babe?”

“I love you.”

 

Thomas didn’t really know what to think of James. He tried not to judge anyone early on, but it was hard not to. He chronicled his speculations in the magenta journal he toted about.

 

_JAMES MADISON: OBSERVATIONS_

_\- Small_

_\- Quiet_

_\- Coughs a lot_

_\- Reads even more_

_\- Seems smart_

_\- Personality???_

_\- Cute… maybe… (????????????????????)_

Not that Thomas’s observations were at all helpful at unraveling the tangled ball of yarn that was James Madison.

Good thing that Thomas was a successful cat.

 

Her law books had begun to overtake the room entirely. Where they had once lined the single bottom row of Angelica’s extremely large bookshelf, they had begun to push her classical hardbacks and biographies and contemporary YA novels from their carefully arranged homes.

Angelica had created her bookshelf arrangement technique when she was young. She had received a set of classics from her grandmother, which she added to her collection of Laura Ingalls Wilder and Betsy-Tacy books. _To Kill a Mockingbird_ and _Tom Sawyer_ disappeared quickly into Angelica’s speed-reading mind. The spectacular arrangement of her father’s books and Angie’s growing hunger for _more, more, more_ inspired her to devise a system. So, in her little notebook, Angelica wrote out her method.

 

 _ANGELICA SCHUYLER’S BOOKSHELF ORGANIZATION METHOD_ (she’d had to ask how to spell organization)

_\- Color_

_\- Subject_

_\- Author_

_\- Series number_

_\- Book title_

 

Her father had found it rather hilarious and had framed the picture alongside the other childhood memorabilia lining the walls of the Pastures.

But, Angie had never strayed from her method. She had later learned that it was practically identical to the library’s method (perhaps that was why it was so funny), but nine-year-olds have stubborn minds.

But, now, the plain covers of the law books had begun to oust the aesthetically pleasing volumes above them. And, Angie realized as she cleaned, they were literally _everywhere_.

Under the bed, in her closet, under the nightstand, in the pillow of her armchair… everywhere that a thick tome could fit, one was found. Angelica grumbled. Peggy woke up.

“It’s seven in the fucking morning, Angelica. Why the fuck are you cleaning?”

“Because the law books are everywhere and they won’t leave.”

“You’re exhausted, idiot.”

“Go away.”

“Eliza and Maria are still asleep, so shut up. I want to sneak a picture.”

Angie straightened and narrowed in on her sister. “Maria stayed over.” It wasn’t a question.

Peggy muffled a laugh. “Yeah. This is how oblivious you are.”

“I don’t know if that was a good idea.”

“Aw, come on, Angie. My bedroom is right next door and I didn’t hear a single thing.”

Peggy danced away before Angelica could retort, leaving her sister open-mouthed and steaming.

Maybe nothing had happened, but Eliza was Angelica’s duckling. She was young and innocent, things which Maria was not. Angelica glared particularly hard at a monster of a book she found behind the headboard.

Law books and love were invading her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thomas is a cat
> 
> comments and kudos are like chocolate- I squeal unnecessarily and they make me want more


	6. Peggy's Angst and Thomas Jefferson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have many evil plans for this story so be prepared

Not once in his life had James Madison felt like this.

He had grown up in a protected home, sheltered by his parents from the woes of the world. Homeschooled, and carefully so, in and out of the doctor’s office for years, and blissfully unaware of the struggles his peers faced.

Until his parents divorced.

Until he was thrust unceremoniously into public high school.

Until he got _really_ sick.

And now he was better, and he was in college (almost), and he had a roommate who made him feel strange and liquid-like on the inside and made his cough come back sometimes because he just looked so amazing and seemed so smart and funny and kind and, and, and.

James could go on for years about the different reasons he liked Thomas Jefferson. Maybe that was the reason itself- Thomas was an infinity where James toed the finish line. Thomas was everything that James was not- brilliant and confident and outgoing and unafraid.

But there was something so completely odd about his feelings towards Thomas. There was a constant pull, and yet there was a wall between them that James could never break through. A wall built of social norms and things that James despised, but could never speak out against.

So, he watched from the other side of the room as Thomas talked endlessly on the phone in rapid French (French!!).

James would stay quiet, because that was what he did best.

 

Apparently, there was a way to aggressively mix a Frappuccino. Peggy had perfected the art long ago. She swirled whipped cream into an aesthetically pleasing peak atop the mug with furious vigor. Alexander watched in horror.

“You’re ruining the coffee with your bad vibes,” he hissed, focusing on the mug before him.

“So what? You don’t like anything besides black coffee anyway,” Peggy retorted, sending the cup spinning along the counter to John, who caught it deftly and called out a name. John was the only one of the shift workers trusted to man the register, as he was far less likely to argue with and/or punch the customer.

“Service, Peggy!” Alex reprimanded, shaking a finger in her direction and handing John the drink carefully. Peggy huffed and slouched against the wall, watching the few customers in the room with pure hatred.

John met Alex’s gaze and gestured to the back room. Alex got the hint and snatched Peggy’s wrist, dragging her back to the pink velvet couch.

“Sit; explain.” He grabbed a leftover cookie from the day before and munched it expectantly.

Peggy groaned again, flopping over onto her face.

 _“Peggy,”_ Alex sighed.

“Fine, fine. It’s some idiot named Lee.”

“Lee? As in, Charles Lee?”

Peggy sat up, eyes wide. “How’d you know that?”

Alex glared. “He’s on YouTube.”

“Right…” Peggy said slowly, narrowing her eyes. “Stupid homophobic content?”

“Of course.”

“Yeah. Well, he keeps texting me. Constantly. And he doesn’t get the message that I am in a relationship. With three other girls.” Peggy took a cookie of her own and ate it just as aggressively as she had piled whipped cream on the Frappuccino.

Alex frowned. “Well, why?”

Peggy turned a fascinating shade of purple. “He thinks that I can’t be having a _real_ relationship with Adrienne, Lizzy, and Mattie. Thinks I can’t be pan.”

Alex matched her violet hue instantly. “That… that…”

“Motherfucker?” Peggy suggested

“Worse than that.”

Peggy sucked in a breath. She hated, _hated_ , Charles Lee. Adrienne and Lizzy and Mattie were the best things since her sisters. The idea that their relationship was somehow… less… because it involved four people was like suggesting that Eliza Schuyler was a mean person. In other words, utterly unthinkable and blatantly false. Peggy could murder- absolutely _murder_ \- Charles Lee for the things he was saying.

She realized that Alexander was speaking again. “… block him?”

“Obviously,” Peggy grumbled, hoping that she had caught the correct train of thought. “He keeps getting around it though. New numbers or things like that.”

Alex muttered under his breath, but his quiet rant was cut off by John’s soft voice asking for them to come back. Something flashed across his dark eyes then, something that Peggy couldn’t place and something that unnerved her.

But, she rose and followed Alex back out into the café.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a super badass idea for peggy
> 
> peggy is my child


	7. Raise a Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm doting on john because i love him

The first day of classes approached, the black X’s on Herc’s calendar creeping ever closer to the thick red circle marking the 29th of August as doomsday. John watched nervously.

He was happy with his major- biology. Turtles were always a passion of John’s, as odd as that may be. Also, bio was an excellent predecessor to a medicine degree, which fascinated John to no end.

But, John still had regular life to deal with. His channel had skyrocketed within the past year, thanks to the publicity from John’s coming out video. Ever since, other subjects had wormed their way into the mix. Raise a Glass was still an art channel, though.

John had avoided an art career for a long time. First, his father was accepting to a medical or law degrees and not much else. Second, John liked doing art on his own schedule. Perfectly fit for a YouTube channel, but not a serious career. Third, being a starving, recently disowned artist was not high on John’s bucket list.

Still, he loved the scratch of pencil on paper. He’d start with wide, sweeping lines from a 6B or even an 8B. Then, using the magic of erasers and with some aid from an HB, he’d refine the lines. John loved the soft, black marks from his B pencils the most. They made the image a little messier, sure, but John liked it that way.

He focused the camera on his sheet, and simply began to narrate his work.

“Hey guys, I’m John Laurens in the place to _be_.” It was nice to use his last name on the show after ages of careful avoidance. “How are y’all? Doing well, I hope. New York’s been having excellent weather, if you don’t mind some heat, and- _agh_ , fuck- hey Herc.”

Herc had pulled him into an abrupt hug, nuzzling the back of his neck. John laughed and detached the camera, angling it back onto himself. Herc glanced up briefly and gave the camera a wave. “Hello, John’s channel. My boyfriend smells good.”

John burst into laughter. “Thanks.”

They spent a minute snuggling and chatting to the viewers, accompanied by happy laughter. To John’s disappointment, however, Herc had to break away. At least his departure was accompanied by a long, slow kiss.

John returned to the paper before him, tapping the pencil lightly against the paper. “Okay; where were we? Right! Right. Show stopper of the week goes to **mkat470** for the best story about shopping for art supplies. I think everyone can relate. Their comment is pinned to my last video, so if you want to check it out there will be a link in the description below. Anyway, getting started. Someone last week suggested that I do a walk-through tutorial of drawing faces in profile. That sounds great to me, especially as someone who spent forever on it at first. Oh! And, if you are interested in being next week’s showstopper, I want y’all to tell me about any of the things you had struggles with when you were starting with art.

“So, here we go. I’m using my regular pencils- pretty cheap ones from… Artist Loft? Yeah. But oh well; they work fine. I’m using an HB and 6B for this. Also, quick disclaimer. This is just a walk-through on how I draw profile shots. If you do it differently, that’s amazing. Talk about techniques down in the comments if you’d like to. Anyway, this is not meant to- _what the fu-_ oh, hey, Laf.”

Laf had butted in, somehow managing to get John on their lap. They detached the camera again and focused it on the pair. Later, John would screen-shot the footage. Laf grinned into the camera, full of joy, but they were also somehow focused on John. John had his head tipped back to rest in the crook of Laf’s neck, laughing and smiling.

Of course, the love in the action was so obvious and beautiful that John’s heart sped up merely _thinking_ about the shot.

“Mm, my boyfriend smells good,” Laf said, burying their face in John’s curls.

“Herc said that too. What the hell does it smell like anyway?”

“Honey and sunlight.”

“Um, how-?”

“Je ne sais pas,” Laf whispered, their breath breezing across John’s ear and making him tingle. Instead of answering, John twisted around and pressed a slow kiss to Laf’s mouth. He didn’t care one bit that they were on camera, mostly because Laf tasted like berries and tea and because he wasn’t afraid anymore. It had taken him a year to get here, but John was in love and he wanted to shout it from the rooftops and the mountains and tell every single person he passed that _he was in love_. In love with three amazing people who loved him back.

Right? They did love him back, didn’t they? It seemed unfathomable to John that he could somehow give his whole heart to three different people. It also seemed unfathomable that someone he was so devoted to couldn’t love him back. But he knew they did, because they had said so.

John realized that Laf was talking to him.

“…stay?”

“Yeah, you can stay,” John murmured, pressing his lips to Laf’s forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i saw this thing where the author answers a question in the notes of each chapter and it looks fun so y'all HIT ME UP
> 
> my mom just dumped a bunch of puberty books on my bed and asked me to decide which ones were appropriate for my little sister
> 
> im not ready for the responsibility help me


	8. The Die is Cast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a short piece of crap that needed to happen and since i wrote it.... here it is (??????????)

The day was there. The die was cast. Eliza stared at the ceiling for a while and made low hissing noises of nervousness. Maria watched with concern. “You’ll live, babe.”

“I don’t know.”

 

Laf insisted on doing Alex’s hair, which is how he ended up with a perfect ponytail for once in his life. John watched with amusement, his jittery demeanor giving away his apprehension. Alex sighed. What would this day bring?

 

Sophomore year. Great.

James packed his backpack, double checked his schedule, and glanced at the still-sleeping form on the other side of the room.

He could only hold out hope that this would go well.

 

Peggy had wished Adrienne, Mattie, and Lizzy good luck with sincerity the night before. At least she had a week until her senior year kicked back up again.

 

Angelica was typing. She typed and she typed and she typed some more. Words grew into sentences, which morphed into paragraphs, and finally into pages. Pages upon pages. Her books were stacked around her like skyscrapers of knowledge, her notebook open and her pen scribbling the occasional note in dusty black ink. Angelica poured her mind out into her work.

This law degree had better be worth it.

 

John walked hand-in-hand with Alexander, rubbing small circles into his skin. Alex was going on about his foster father, a professor at Columbia. He smiled, glad that Alex had a family of some sorts.

 

His backpack looked way too heavy for someone as small as James. Thomas watched through half-closed eyelids, restraining a smile. His roommate was, simply, adorable.

The door closed softly, and he was gone.

 

Theodosia handed him a warm mug, pressing the ceramic into his hands. She smiled and ghosted her lips across his cheek. Intimate, for Aaron Burr. He wanted to hold her tight, wanted to envelop her in an embrace to last the ages.

Of course, she was still a married woman.

But they had made a promise.

Aaron took a sip of the coffee, watching Theodosia kneed her bread dough with vigor.

 

Perfect eyeliner was a necessary accessory on the first day of school. Laf bit the end of their tongue in concentration. They drew the line slowly across their eyelid, ending with a satisfying flick up towards their temple. Laf smiled grimly.

Perfect indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoa-kay, question time
> 
> also, quick shout out to ceeceemulligan for being an awesome human being. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE SUPPORT GIRL YOU ROCK!!!!!!   
> Q: what's your favorite color?  
> A: graaaaaaaaaaaaaaay i love gray its so pretty and i love it and omggggg my entire room is gray and so are half of my clothes i love it and it's just beautiful with my hamilton poster (ultimate test: does the color go with hamilton)  
> Q: what's your favorite character?  
> A: yep, you're right, it's mah child John Laurens. idk he's just beautiful and sweet and "batshit reckless" and smart and he's just... ahhhhhhhhhh my favorite character of all time. Sorry Fred, you've been demoted to number two. Also, sorry Nicko, you've got bronze.   
> Q: what's your favorite actor in the show?  
> A: HOW DO YOU CHOSE??????????? idk, i love them all... but daveed is just amazing. and jazzy. and pippa and anthony and of course our leader Lin. Actually, Lin is definitely my favorite. He reminds me so much of my art teacher/best friend and it's impossible not to love lin. if you don't love lin then i will gladly acquaint your face with a brick (jk kudos pls)  
> Q: favorite lines from the show?  
> A:...................................................................................................... this is impossible. I, too, am a huge #andpeggy fan, but my favorites are probably from the amazing deleted song "let it go". Ya know, the "you don't have to bring a gun to a knife fight; it's not a case of your money or your life, right?" and the fantastic "people will always be critical; they'll make the personal political; they're trying to knock you off your pedestal, your pinnacle; let other people the cynical- let it go". those lyrics really strike home for me and i get the chills and the happy chokes listening to Pippa the Goddess. 
> 
> ya that's it. thank you to ceeceemulligan for the questions, pls hit me up this is fun
> 
> <333333333333333333333333333333 x 8000000000000000000000000000000 from ya home girl, rosy


	9. At the End of the Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp more short stuff that had to happen (actually i just don't have anything more written at the moment but oH WELL)

Eliza had dropped onto the rug as soon as she got home, eyes wide and backpack left forgotten in the foyer. Angelica came and stood over her, hands on her hips, mildly concerned and greatly amused.

“C’mon, ‘Liza. It wasn’t _that_ bad.”

“Yes it was. I’m stressed already.”

Angie sighed and rolled her eyes. _Sisters_. “Well, at least stand up. Your phone is blowing up.”

“Angie, I have an Apple.”

“Not _literally_ , ya goof. Maria’s texting.”

Eliza shot up as if someone had lit her notes on fire. “Ria?”

 _“Ria?”_ Angie said incredulously.

Eliza flushed a deep crimson. “Yeah…”

“Oh, sweet baby Jesus,” she groaned, dragging her hand down her face.

Peggy poked her head around the corner, still clad in her sweatpants and her hair in an unbrushed lion’s mane. “Ria? Betsy? What’s next? _Baby?_ ”

Eliza had begun to look like a tomato, hiding her face in her hands.

The other two shared a terrified look. “You _didn’t_. Eliza, I swear…”

Peggy tossed Eliza her phone anyway and watched her sister delve into the messages, a smile growing on her face.

 

John was watching Alexander with horror. Alex was _typing_. He was writing an _essay_. On the first day. John could’ve tossed the laptop off a cliff.

Herc seemed to agree, his eyes wide as Alexander clacked away across the keyboard. “Babe, what the fuck are you doing?”

It took a copious amount of time for Alex to respond, the pink end of his tongue showing from between his teeth. His incessant typing slowing for a moment as he turned to glance up at Herc. “Huh? I’m writing.”

“Alex, it’s the first day. _The first day_. We don’t even have assignments yet.”

“Well, I know George always gives this one, so I’m getting an early start.” Alex returned to his screen, biting down on his tongue again.

“When?”

“What?”

“When does Washington assign it?” John tapped his foot. This was oddly amusing, and yet completely infuriating.

Alex slowed sheepishly, his fingers hovering mid-type. “Ah… January?”

John dropped his head in his hands. Herc groaned, turned on his heel, and went to find Laf.

 

There was a lot of silence in the dorm. Silence filled with awkward camaraderie, a strange connection from the “hey, we’re in this together” feeling.

Thomas hated the silence. He was a loud person, for sure, and he wanted to express every thought and feeling and idea. James was just so distant.

They each sat on their respective beds, pretending not to be glancing at each other and paging through their notes. The air was tense.

“Okay, I can’t take this anymore. We’re roommates, and we should be friends.”

Thomas shot upright, staring across the room. “I… I was just about to say that.”

James smiled nervously. “Well, looks like we have something in common. I mean, besides the….” James gestured pointlessly to the pride flag fluttering slightly above Thomas’s bed.

“Wait, you too?”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Wow! Wow. This is… great. I mean, do you go to Pride?”

James flushed deep purple. “Ah, no. I’m not out. Not really. Yet. I don’t know.”

“Oh. Well, we have to do something about that. You’ve _got_ to get to Pride.”

James opened his mouth, but his weak protests were useless against Thomas’s vibrant and excited demeanor.

And, so, they went on.

 

Jacques Prevost was standing behind Theodosia, his arms around her waist as they swayed. Theodosia was laughing, her piping bag floating across the cupcakes. Aaron was watching from over his book, trying to keep a neutral face. But that was the problem.

Theodosia Bartow Prevost was the only thing that Aaron Burr _couldn’t_ be indifferent about. He tried to keep his opinions, however few, to himself, but this girl was too perfect for him not to feel protective.

And there he sat, watching the girl he loved dance slowly in the arms of her husband, her masquerade so perfect that even he couldn’t tell that it was fake.

And it was. Aaron trusted that Theodosia would stay true to him because he knew how much they loved each other. It was only now, when Jacques was back from his oh-so-important international business trips that Aaron felt the doubt creeping in.

But Aaron had to trust, because what else can you do when you’re in love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i am back
> 
> today's questions are brought to you by the amazing KamiChameleon. Thank you so much for reading!!!!!!!
> 
> Q: when did you start writing?  
> A: i actually have no idea. my mom had this a n c i e n t old macbook (ya know the chunky white ones? one of those) that she didn't use, so she let me have it as soon as i was... four? maybe? it had no internet and whatever, so it was really just for me to write on. anyway i was memorizing books when i was... two? three? and then i'd "read" them to my sister, so i was already super into the whole literature thing. my first documents were literally me writing out the alphabet and saying things like "rosy loves mommy" and "daddy loves mommy" and things like that (i think i asked my mom how to spell everything which must have been annoying af). then i graduated, once i knew how to write for real and stuff (around five or so), i started writing stories. there's this real gem called "the little wooden magic wall", which is about two pages long and details a friendship between a girl and a fairy that lives in a... surprise... little wooden magic wall. also, my sister and i had this super advanced make-believe game that i wrote stories to go with, so theres a bunch of "Ruby and Rosa" stories too. ya and I bought myself a laptop and i've been writing anything and everything since. I think there's probably a hundred story starters on this usb key of mine. they're mostly a page long or so, just the introduction to what i thought was going to be a book, and now i'm using fanfics as a way to improve my writing and that stuff. soooooooooooooo............. yeah!  
> Q: do you listen to heathers? if so, who's your favorite?  
> A: yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss yes omg heathers rocks my socks. my personal fav is chandler, mainly because she's so damn fun. i'd love to play her someday.   
> Q: what about be more chill?  
> A: i reenacted the squip song about eight times last night at eleven or so... (i have no sleep schedule)  
> Q: into the woods?  
> A: YES YES YES I WANT TO PLAY THE WITCH SO BADLY SOMETIME AND GIANTS IN THE SKY IS JUST A GREAT SONG   
> Q: (this is paraphrased) what musicals do you listen to?  
> A: hamilton, in the heights, heathers, be more chill, dear evan hansen, sweeney todd, into the woods, les mis, west side story, newsies, lion king... gosh i could go on forever OH oh and i recently saw sunday in the park with george and i'm in love guys it's such a fun production
> 
> thank you so much for the questions!!! keep 'em rolling in- these are super fun
> 
> p.s. sorry about the grammar i don't feel like capitalizing stuff


	10. Idk Pt. 8000000000000000

Hello hi yeah

I forgot to take my laptop 

 

Yeah so I'm updating my other story from my phone but this story is on mah laptop and that's where it's staying

So I won't be updating this weekend

*facepalm* ugggggh 

Anyway thanks for being chill human beings 

Loooooooove, Rosy

P.S. if you want to read actual brain vomit, check out Hamiltrash Incorporated


	11. Autumn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight homophobia tw btw
> 
> ok ok fUNNY STORY
> 
> i was walking my asshole dog tonight and it was starting to rain so i was olympic speed walking on the path behind our neighborhood and theres this cute little couple kissing in the rain on the path (great idea) and she's got her legs up around his waist and they're making out like it's the fucking notebook or something and i'm coming up behind them with my "i will eat small children" dog and she's like YES YES LETS GROWL AT THIS TEENAGE BOY BC THEY ARE SCARY AF and he gets a surprise when my small angry dog growls like a demon at him 
> 
> and
> 
> he 
> 
> d r o p s 
> 
> her
> 
> he fucking drops this girl he's holding and she just slides down to the path
> 
> and i yell SORRY and book it

It had begun to feel like autumn. John felt unnecessarily happy at the sight of changing leaves and knitted sweaters and plaid scarves and hands wrapped around coffee mugs and Peggy’s plum colored lipstick. There hadn’t been a true fall in South Carolina- the heat continued into October and the leaves simply became brown and fell from the branches into unsightly heaps.

The year before, relatively soon after the four had gotten together, Herc had laughed at John’s enchantment with the season. Alex, on the other hand, reveled in the cooler breezes alongside John and gladly accompanied him into the city on John’s Fall Adventure trips.

Alex would forever hold a special corner of John’s heart all to himself. He was John’s first love- his first boyfriend- his first _everything_.

And there he was, getting dragged down Broadway by a short, overly-excitable boy with wide eyes the color of chocolate, the leaves just beginning to swirl down among the fashionably-dressed people walking alongside the pair.

Laf had given Alex a GoPro for Christmas the year before, which Alexander had agreed to put to use for John’s channel. John held it tightly, filming Alex’s live commentary on the busy happenings of New York City.

“…and here, we have the tea parlor Eliza is obsessed with- oh look, there’s some old ladies in there. This is proof that Eliza is an actual grandma.” Alex grinned over his shoulder at John, whose heart shuttered to a stop at the sight of Alex framed by warm rays of golden sun, shattering through the stray wisps of hair from his ponytail and the tassels of his scarf.

“Confirmed: Herc is the mom and Eliza is the grandma,” John laughed.

“Wait, who am I then?”

“The weirdly rich and eccentric uncle with an Ivy League degree who goes to book signings.”

Alex stopped, contemplating and looking at John with the cutest expression. “Ya know, that’s pretty accurate.”

John gave a little laugh. “Yeah, I’m always accurate. And who am I in this weird family?”

A sly grin grew across Alex’s face. “The eccentrics uncle’s perpetually paint-covered husband.”

“Wait, was that a-,” John started, but Alex cut him off with a long, slow kiss. John leaned forward into Alex’s mouth, tasting the black coffee on his lips and engulfing himself in the inky, old-book smell that seemed to follow Alex like a loyal stray.

The kiss could have gone on for years, had it not been for the muttered comment from the left.

John didn’t even catch what it was, but Alex clearly did. His eyes went wide, his lips separating from John’s in an agonizingly slow fashion.

_“Excuse me?”_

“Alex, don’t, it’s not-.”

“Did you just say what I think you said?”

“Alex, please-.”

“I mean, does it really bother you so much that I love John and that I kiss him? Is love really so terrible for you?”

John grabbed Alex’s shoulder, but he shook it off as he strode towards the man his anger was directed at. John almost felt bad for the guy- Alexander Hamilton was not kind when he was mad.

But the dismissal of John’s worries hurt more than it should.

Alex was still going on about the New York state constitution and basic human morals, throwing in perfect Bible references. But the guy was holding his ground, spitting it right back at Alex (which was surprising). John feared they’d have a fight on his hands.

And Alex was yelling. He was yelling, and the look in his eyes as he began to square up with the other guy struck some sort of instinctive fear in his gut.

This was familiar.

John felt like he needed to run.

And then the guy punched Alexander.

Something snapped within him as Alex tumbled back, hand flying to his face as he yelped. It was only as the collecting cry of outrage rose around John did he realize that there was a crowd gathering.

 _“Alexander!”_ He sprinted forward, catching Alex inches from the pavement. There was blood on his hands and smeared across his face.

The man looked on smugly. Anger bubbled in John’s chest, but he couldn’t punch back. Instead, he straightened up, Alex cradled in his arms like a baby, or a bride. John met the man’s icy blue eyes.

He hoped his voice didn’t shake.

“I’m not going to hit you, because I’m trying not to become my father. But I hope you realize what a horrible person you are. You had no right. And, just saying, we have two other partners who might strangle you for me.”

And John walked away.

Alex was still cupping his nose and breathing heavily. His eyes were wide. John looked down.

“Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear to god alexander
> 
> anyway question time yay
> 
> ceeceemulligan continues to be FUCKING AMAZING
> 
> q: how many siblings/pets do you have?  
> a: i have one hyper little sister who is quite enough for me thank you very much but nO we also have a fucking insane dog who snarls at small children and eats roadkill  
> q: favorite spot in the world?  
> a: my summer camp- it's my home guys i love it  
> q: social media/internet platform of choice?  
> a: pinterest, insta, and ao3  
> q: weirdest thing you've ever seen/done?  
> a: oh god... there was this time when i was waiting for my madre at the bank and this girl comes up and started asking my opinion on her clothes and having me listen to her obscure indie music (without headphones, mind you, in a b a n k). she then suggested that i paint my nails the same color as my shirt and then asked me whether i spoke german (which i don't). my sister was there, btw, and she just abandoned me there on those uncomfortable plastic-y sofas and went to the bathroom for twenty minutes   
> q: introvert or extrovert?  
> a: according to my 16 personalities quiz, i am 48% introverted and 52% extroverted so i'm very half in half (it really depends on the day- sometimes i'm like YALL LETS INTERVIEW THE ENTIRE FUCKING STATE and other days i'm like "touch me and i kill you")  
> q: hobbies?   
> a: writing, of course (XD), and reading, art shit, photography, arguing with people, refreshing ao3 every .2 seconds looking for lams, pinterest in general, STAGE CREW FIGHT ME, singing broadway in the car, trying to rap, trying to achieve lafayette-level eyeliner... and stress-baking
> 
> thank you all so much for the support! keep the questions rolling i love this shit


	12. Noses and DATE???!!! omg????!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh look
> 
> i'm back

Somehow, Laf had ended up in Herc’s lap, kissing him passionately. There was something discreetly satisfying about electing a little moan from your boyfriend’s lips. Laf paused, smiling against Herc’s collarbone. “Do you like that, mon cher?”

“Oh my god, _yes_.” Herc’s voice was breathy and shaky. Laf felt a low thrill rack their spine. They were doing this. They were unraveling Hercules Mulligan. Yes, it had been a year, but the four of them were definitely in the honeymoon phase. Maybe for life.

“Good.”

Any more conversation was prevented by Laf’s kissing and Herc’s slight whimpers. But, after a moment of their careful movements, Laf was startled back by a pounding on the door.

“Hey, can y’all open the door? I can’t get my key right now.”

It was John, and he sounded almost on the verge of tears. Herc met Laf’s eyes, and since he was in no condition to answer John’s plea (shirtless and falling apart), Laf slid off and padded to the door, fumbling with the lock and the knob.

The opened the door, and shrieked.

 

Herc was off the couch in an instant, tearing across the room to the door. Was Laf okay? Had it really been a murderer instead of John? Was John okay? A million scenarios raced through his mind, each more horrible than the next.

What he was not expecting was a flustered Laf, a terrified John, and a bloody Alex.

“Holy shit. What happened?”

“I got punched. I think my nothe ith broken.”

"No shit, Sherlock."

“Jesus fucking Christ, Alexander.”

John slid past, never once relinquishing his hold on Alex, cradled against his chest. “Yeah, ya doof, I think your nose _is_ broken.” He was trembling as he set Alex down on the couch. Herc slid an arm around John’s waist, letting Laf sweep in and inspect the offending nose.

He pressed his lips to John’s temple, keeping him grounded to reality. Herc wasn’t going to let John drift off into his past. That never went well for anybody, particularly John, and if there was one thing that Herc hated, it was seeing John in pain. Or Laf. Or Alex.

Alex was recounting the story- how he had kissed John for being super cute and some idiot had called them out for it. John tried to stop the fight (Herc thought he knew why), but Alex’s verbal damnation of the bastard provoked a single punch to his nose. “And then, John thwept in like thome freckled medieval knight and carried me home. I thtill want to punch that guy, though. He’th a lil’ bitch.”

“Language, mon cher,” Laf reprimanded, wiping some blood from Alex’s cheek.

“You’re one to fucking talk, Laf,” Alex muttered, crossing his arms petulantly.

 

Thomas had suggested- no, insisted- that he and James go out for coffee. “As friends and roommates,” he had clarified, but that didn’t stop James’ heart from pounding incessantly and picking an outfit he knew looked cute.

They walked along the edge of campus, chatting quietly and laughing nearly constantly.

“… and then I said, ‘You know, Charles? You’re an asshole,’ and walked out. I think he was pretty surprised, and I was too, actually.”

Thomas snickered. “Lee is a certified bastard.”

“Yep, pretty much.” James was surprising himself. Gone was the quiet, reserved persona he presented, replaced by a smiley, energized man James didn’t really know. God. Thomas was amazing.

“I think the worst thing about him is that he’s got this weird thing for the youngest Schuyler sister.”

“Wait, the one with the alcohol name?”

“Yeah; Margarita.”

“Jesus. Who chose that name?”

“Someone who was very, very drunk,” Thomas quipped, grinning down. “Here we are.” He gestured to a small place, tucked between a townhouse and an antique lamp store, with the letters THEODOSIA’S placed above the door.

“It looks perfect,” James breathed, following Thomas across the street.

It really was a perfect coffee shop- it smelled like old books and looked like a scene straight out of an indie music video or a Tumblr blog. Thomas went straight for the counter, James close behind. The guy behind the register looked frazzled, his dark ponytail bobbing with worry and his eyes flighty. Thomas opened his mouth to order, eyes on the menu dangling above the coffee bar.

 _“I’m not good with humans!”_ Counter Guy yelped, jumping down (he was on a stool, apparently) and dragging someone out of the back room.

“Alex, what the f-heck?”

“John, I can’t do people.”

“Are you ace?” Thomas joked.

“Huh?” John asked, distracted.

“Um, I’m hella gay?” Alex said, defensive.

“Yay,” James murmured.

“Whoa, are you-?”

“Hey, no, he’s-!”

“Y’all need to-.”

“Wait, wha-?”

“Hold up!” James yelled, holding a hand out. “Let’s clear some stuff up.”

Alex jumped on it, looking sassy as all get out in a fraction of a second. “I don’t know, but I can _tell_ I’m going to argue with him.” He gestured to Thomas. John facepalmed.

“And, uh, I’m gay? So…?” James piped up.

“How do you know you’re going to argue with me?”

“Um, you’re cocky.”

“And you’re not?”

“Alexander, you actually are pretty cocky.”

“Excuse me?”

James watched in confusion.

“Well, anyway, you woke me up,” John said pointedly.

“Yeah, because I’m not interested in losing my job because I argued with a customer. You’re the people person, John,” Alex whined. “I just make coffee.”

John sighed. “Remind me: why am I dating you?”

“Because you love me?”

“Okay, true, but.”

“Hey, I just want coffee,” Thomas butted in.

“Right,” John muttered. “I’ll take over the register, Alex.”

 _“Yes.”_ Alex fist pumped triumphantly.

“Okay. What would you like?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anywhoooooooo
> 
> QUESTIONS YALL
> 
> q: what's your favorite holiday?  
> a: CHRISTMAS I AINT EVEN CHRISTIAN BUT D A M N THOSE COOKIES GOOD
> 
> q: favorite animal?  
> a: the majestic fox
> 
> q: what's one book/fanfic/story that you keep coming back to?  
> a: oh god
> 
> harry potter, illuminae, the penderwicks... and then the hamilton fanfic Provoke Outrage guys it's like if hamilton was a dope ass dystopian book (ps it's longer than order of the phoenix so be ready for commitment and it contains gil/peggy so if you don't like that... but gil is the best thing guys and kATIE and there's beautiful elams and a pREQUEL)
> 
> q: what season do you like the most?  
> a: fall
> 
> and season three of downton abbey
> 
> q: would you ever want children?  
> a: yep i want to adopt because a) ace and b) i have some genetic issues as a kid that i don't want to pass on and c) these kids need homes and foster care is a bitch. i want a boy and girl... norwegian names bc that's easier for your truly... maybe sonja and espen???? idk???? but i'd also want gender neutral names just in case?????????
> 
> q: who is your role model?  
> a: margaret thatcher, lin, and paul wellstone
> 
> q: one place you've always wanted to visit  
> a: oooooooo definitely either the ancient family graveyard in scotland or the old house in norway
> 
> tysm to ceeceemulligan for the questions!
> 
> ps: in the time since i last updated, i have gotten myself addicted to sherlock and mileschronicles


	13. Idk Pt. There's Too Many of These

Hola 'tis I

im aliiiiiiiiiive 

you had reason to doubt that considering I haven't updated since John cena memes were cool (aka the sixteenth century JOHN CENA ISNT COOL ANYMORE)

id say I was busy but we all know that's a lieeeeee

anyway my laptop is wifi only so I won't be able to update for the next week but I will be writing sooooooooo kill me in the comments if necessary

but for now I'm on a car ride and my innocent little sister and my oblivious father are right next to me so I can't read fanfiction so I'm writing you musicals (this is the quality content you're here for right hahaaaaa)

 

I Can't Read Fanfics And It's Killing Me; A Cry For Help by Rosy

I'm Overexcitable And I Broke The Screen Door P.S. It Was The Squirrel's Fault; A One-Dog Play by Agate 

There's A Small Child In the Passanger Seat Of The Car Next To Me Should I Be Concerned; A Poem by Rosy

What Is Life; A Diary Entry by Rosy

LAMS IS SO CUTTTTTE; A Continuous Squeal by Rosy

Writer's Block Is A Bitch; A Memior by Everyone

My Grandma Is More Hip Than Me; A Confession by Rosy

sorry that u burned your eyes by reading the crap that is chapter one of RAGTI 

 

-Rosyyyyyyyyy

 

p.s. y'all rock <33333

p.p.s. To those of you talking about hetalia...

HELL YEAH BABY DENNOR FOREVER

I haven't been blessed with a full episode yet but I am d e e p into the fanfic and Pinterest holes

 

 


	14. The Adventures of Peggy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAAAAAAAAY IM BACK AND I HAVE A SHIT TON OF STUFF PLANNED FOR THIS STORY I KNOW THAT THERES LITERALLY NO PLOT RIGHT NOW BUT ITS COMINGGGGGGGG

They had ended up in a pile- Eliza and Maria wrapped around each other, heads on Angie’s torso, with Peggy draped across their legs, holding a tripod. They were livestreaming: something that Eliza had been wanted to do for a while. She’d been tangled up in studies for the past month. But, Maria and the others were right.

She loved Columbia. She loved the architecture, the atmosphere, the students, the teachers, the classes. Eliza couldn’t be happier- she was in New York City, the greatest city in the world, with her sisters and her girlfriend. She had four best friends, all in love, and she was there to witness history.

Peggy was laughing at something Angie had said. It was then that Eliza realized that she’d been locking eyes with Maria for centuries.

“Yeah, yeah right. Okay, I have a comment here that says _when will we meet Peggy’s girlfriends?_ I don’t know, actually. We’re keeping it pretty low profile for now. I mean, Angie and Eliza have met them but Maria and the polysquad haven’t. I think Laf’s really excited to. It’s been a year now; I guess you guys deserve to meet them. I’ll ask. Oh! Eliza, this one’s for you. How do you like Columbia?”

“Oh, goodness. I love it. Plus, I’m there with the best people I know,” she said softly, still watching Maria’s light-hearted eyes.

“I also have a comment that just says “kiss”, which I think is for you two lovebirds.”

Eliza giggled, tipping her head up to meet Maria’s lips. Angie groaned as their quick kiss turned into tonsil hockey.

“Jesus. I didn’t think Eliza could kiss like that,” she muttered, reaching back for a pillow to either prop herself up on or cover her face with. Maria laughed against the corner of Eliza’s mouth.    

 

Peggy tapped through her messages, revisiting the old ones and smiling down at her screen beneath the desk. Half the class was asleep anyway and the teacher was going on and on and on about the effects of the Boston Massacre.

 

andyscoming: lol your livestream was beautiful pegs

 

peggay: awwww thanks

 

mattie<3: I want to meet ur friends babe

 

peggay: theyre rly impatient about it but its fun to keep them waiting

 

mattie<3: always the evil one

 

andyscoming: clearly

 

peggay: Adrienne u offend me

 

lizard: andy r u being rude

 

andyscoming: yesssssss

 

mattie<3: dammit I can’t write this intro kmn

 

peggay: hahaha

 

lizard: be nice

 

peggay: u sound like my sister

 

lizard: eliza and I have the same name so maybe were non-biological twins

 

mattie<3: don’t think that’s possible

 

peggay: shut up martha let her dream

 

andyscoming: wouldn’t this technically be incest then

 

peggay: NO NO NO SHUT UP

 

mattie<3: holy shit never say that

 

lizard: blech fuk u

 

andyscoming: oh please

 

peggay: WTF

 

lizard: ur username is incorrect

 

peggay: wat

 

lizard: ur pan

 

peggay: pangy doesn’t work tho

 

lizard: tru tru

 

mattie<3: fuck it this intro isn’t working

 

peggay: *sends kisses*

 

mattie<3: *catches kisses*

 

andyscoming: *eats kisses*

 

lizard: and here we see the peggy’s rare mating dance. the peggy is hardly ever affectionate, but here it seems that the Adrienne is ruining the beautiful interacting between the martha and the margarita

 

peggay: that was beautiful

 

andyscoming: u g h

 

mattie<3: you all need to come home asap because im lonely

 

lizard: im sprinting

 

peggay: im stealing an airplane

 

mattie<3: no stealing we worked on this

 

andyscoming: im in the other room

 

mattie<3: oh haha

 

peggay: no kissing w/o me

 

lizard: I wouldn’t count on it

 

peggay: MATTIE ANDY R U THERE

 

peggay: ya no theyre kissing

 

lizard: dammit

 

Peggy tucked her phone under her thigh and directed her attention towards the front, feeling much giddier than she had in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pegs is my babe and her girls are so cute


	15. Another Date Plus Angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst angst angst

Laf wanted to go on a date. Alex would never refuse.

So, there they were, holding hands over a booth table, feet interlocked affectionately beneath it. Their drinks stood off to the side, forgotten, the condensation trickling down into the coasters and pooling into miniature puddles.

“Do you think that John and Herc are mad at us?” Laf asked, their voice low and raspy. Alex studied their eyes, which never seemed to settle on a color. Tonight they looked hazel, though that was perhaps the dark green eyeliner they had flicked out across their lid.

“For what? Going on a date? ‘Course not.”

Laf giggled, glancing down and making Alex’s heart mimic the fast beat of the song playing around them. Yep, honeymoon phase indeed. Alex loved the way their relationship worked. He had something special with John, Laf, and Herc individually and a beautiful relationship with all three of them together.

“Oui, I am being silly. They are drawing, I believe.” Laf twirled their straw absentmindedly.

“Of course. Did you see the dress Herc’s working on?”

“I am very tempted to steal it for myself.”

“You’d look gorgeous.”

“Oh, you flatter me.”

Alex snatched a quick peck, just as the waiter arrived with two steaming plates.

“Mon dieu,” Laf sighed. Alex glanced up from his sinfully large sandwich.

“What? I mean, your sandwich looks great, but-.”

“Non, that is not why. I wad thinking about how lucky I am.”

“To have me?” Alex joked, fluttering his eyelashes.

“Oui. You and Herc and John.”

Oh. _Oh._

This wasn’t anything new. Laf was about as affectionate as a human can get. The four of them knew that they were all deeply in love with each other (obviously), but it still made Alex’s soul melt into nothing when one of the others said things like that.

Alex met Laf’s shimmering eyes (they looked nearly auburn now) and smiled, shy. “Thank you. I’m so, so lucky too.”

“We are quite the- how you say- saps?”

“Yeah, we’re pretty sappy.”

Alex noticed how much the guy from the coffee shop looked like Laf. They both had the same beautiful eyes and warm skin.

_Wait. Slow down._

His brain screeched to a halt. Had he, Alexander Hamilton, who was in a perfect relationship with three wonderful people, just thought about another man _sexually?_

Dammit. Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit.

Alex pressed his lips against Laf’s. Maybe this would help. But all he could think about was how Laf and the guy looked so, so similar.

His phone buzzed, pulling the two away quite suddenly. Laf frowned. “Quite rude of them to interrupt out moment.”

“It’s Herc. I think I should answer.”

“Oui. Go to the bathroom. I will help you eat your sandwich.”

“Yeah, you do that.”

Alex could have punched himself in the face. Fuck. He couldn’t just- he couldn’t- _shit._

“Hey Herc, what’s up?”

“Alex. Thank god. I need you two to come home ASAP.” There was tension in Herc’s voice. Tension that made Alex nervous.

“Wait, what’s wrong? What happened? Is John okay? The Schuylers? Fuck, if James touched Maria then I will-!”

“No, Alex, it’s John.”

For a second time, the world halted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway im going to wait a little bit to publish the next chapter which is finished btw but i like being evil


	16. ANGST

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have relented
> 
> BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
> 
> tw for abuse references and panic attacky stuff????
> 
> anyway stay safe <3
> 
> BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Alex darted out of the bathroom, heart hammering. John, John, John, John, John. Herc had said that he had to go, and the worst was tumbling through Alex’s head. John hurt, John missing, John dead.

He found their table. Laf was indeed eating Alex’s sandwich.

“Laf, we gotta go; it’s John.”

They didn’t even question it.

Alex wasn’t sure how it happened (his mind was racing at a mile a minute), but Laf had paid and dragged Alex onto a subway and back through the tunnels to their apartment, and now they were running up the stairs because the elevator took _too damn long_. Alex was sprinting to keep up with Laf’s long, strong legs, but it didn’t hurt like sprinting up five flights of stairs normally would.

Fuck.

Alex pushed himself farther.

They reached the door, Laf fumbled with the key for a millisecond, and they were home, tumbling into the foyer and slamming the door shut and racing off again in search of Herc and John, John, John.

Laf was hardly panting, but a sweat drop had carved its way through their highlighter. Alex was surprised that he could breathe at all.

Herc and John were in the corner of the couch, John’s face buried in Herc’s shirt and his shoulders eerily still. Alex slipped over, carefully, touching John’s arm to alert him of his presence and frowning when John flinched. Not good at all, but John didn’t look hurt, missing, or dead. That was a plus.

There was a movement behind Alex. Laf, of course, crouching down to check John’s face for tears or something worse. Herc gave a quick shake of his head.

Oh.

Not-crying was definitely worse than crying, because not-crying meant that John was bottling up emotions. Alex murmured in his ear.

“Hey babe. I’m going to sit with you two, if that’s okay.”

A slight nod.

Alex sank into the couch, pressing up against John and joining hands with Herc. Laf whispered something in French and completed the group, twining their arms around the other three.

“What has happened?”

Herc sucked in a breath. John tensed, going rigid and shock still. Alex ran a hand comfortingly up and down John’s back, careful not to press to hard and making sure to stop whenever John winced. John’s back was nearly always something to handle with care, especially then.

“Henry’s coming to New York. For a month,” Herc whispered, eyes on the tumbles of curls pressed against his chest.

John flinched at Alex’s hand.

_Not good. Not good, not good._

Faintly, Alex heard Laf’s small _“Mon dieu…”_ , their voice shaky. He felt Herc’s hand, squeezing his thigh to let him know that the world was still there. He knew that it was- it was just that to only thing he could focus on was John.

He was shaking now. John was less like a rabbit frozen in place, eyes on the predator and more like a rabbit cowering from the human hand reaching for it. Alex was seeing red, red like the blood that Henry Laurens must spill because, after all, Henry Laurens was simply human. He might be a monstrous one, but Henry Laurens was human.

And Alex didn’t understand it.

How could someone be such a horrible, horrible human being that their own son was sent into a panic attack from mere proximity to them?

Maybe Alex was wrong. Henry Laurens couldn’t possibly be human.

Maybe the color red was only a color that belonged to Alex’s sight and Maria Lewis.

Maybe some people had black blood.

Being a person and being a human were different, Alex realized.

He shook himself and glanced up at Herc, who looked as though he might cry or punch someone. “How’d you find out?” Herc sucked in a breath and tentatively held John’s hands, which were curled between the two.

“We decided to have our own impromptu date and go down to that diner a few blocks over. Saw him in the street.”

“Are you sure it was...?” Alex checked.

John nodded slightly against Herc’s chest, making his curls bob up and down like the waves back on Nevis. Alex closed his eyes. He trusted John. This was real.

Laf carefully pressed their hands between Herc and John, stopping when John froze and restarting when he nodded. Alex shifted out of the way so that Laf could pull John into their lap. It made his heart flutter ever so slightly, even though it was clearly _not the time_. He himself crawled into Herc’s arms and brought Laf and John closer in.

So, they sat there, the four of them- one sobbing, three barely holding it together.

Yeah, they had a weird relationship. It was hard sometimes but Alex wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *shrug*
> 
> OK WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH JAVI AND THE FANDOM???????? i leave for a weak and i come back and half the fandom is stroming the richard rogers with pitchforks and the other half is like #isupportjavi and i'm like wtf????? anyway can anyone inform me of what has occurred thank u
> 
> ps who's excited for the eclipse?!!


	17. I Think Y'all Deserve This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's some fluff bc u guys deserve it <3
> 
> aNYWAY 
> 
> guess who just watched s2e3 of sherlock
> 
> meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
> 
> and
> 
> sHERLOCK U BITCH U JUST SAT THERE AND WATCHED UR BOYFRIEND POUR HIS HEART OUT TO YOUR G R A V E AND THEN U S M I LE
> 
> U FUCKING SMILE
> 
> I'M SORRY I CANT SHERLOCK U IDIOT JOHN MAH BBY

Herc woke up slowly, eyes adjusting to the faint light. They had fallen asleep early, all exhausted from an oddly emotional evening. Laf had carried John into the bedroom, insisting that eating their own sandwich and half of Alex’s was plenty dinner for one night. John hadn’t said anything, but a slight shake of his head was enough. Alex and Herc had raided the pantry and snacked for a while, quietly discussing their all-new Keep John Laurens Safe plan. By the time they had returned to the bed, John was asleep in Laf’s arms.

“No one brushed their teeth,” Herc muttered. Yeah, he was the mom. He glanced down to check on the others. Being the only one who slept on their back had several advantages, one of which being the anchor for all the others in the bed. Currently, Alex was buried under his right arm and Laf was cradling John under his left.

Laf was breathing lightly, nose pressed against John’s forehead. Alex was snoring slightly, hair in his eyes. And John? John was twisted in the blankets, suggesting that he had tossed and turned throughout the night. John and Alex had a tendency to have nightmares- Alex’s mostly about hurricanes or his mother, John’s filled with his father and a fuck ton of pain.

There was a whimper. John, for sure. Herc slid down a bit, wriggling so as not to disturb the (surprisingly) asleep Alexander. Laf, however, fluttered their eyelashes as the awoke, looking at Herc with confusion.

“John,” he murmured, and Laf’s eyes went wide. Thank goodness. The wriggling wasn’t working and Herc couldn’t get his arm out from under Alex, but Laf was there now too.

Laf hummed French against John’s cheek, careful to avoid his back. John whined, low and shattered. Herc’s heart tumbled off a cliff and into a deep, dark void.

John twisted, burrowing into the mattress, trying to move away from Laf and Herc simultaneously, but only succeeding in tangling himself further. Herc couldn’t figure out whether John was being stubborn about waking up or having a nightmare.

A second low whimper decided the matter. Ignoring Alex’s rare bout of sleep, Herc moved down and drew John up against his chest. John didn’t like being babied, but Herc wasn’t going to give him much of a choice today. 

He was coming to slowly, inch by inch, grabbing at reality. Herc stroked the curls down and whispered sweet nothings across the freckles. John’s eyelids twitched and his jaw set, clenching tight against the cavern of dreams.

“Come on babe, just wake up. You can do it.”

John woke with start, panting, eyes wide and chest heaving. “What?”

Herc smiled. “Good morning.”

_“Shit.”_

“Oui,” Laf giggled, tracing their hand along John’s jaw. “Come here.”

The pair shared a slow kiss, John leaning down to meet Laf’s chapped lips. Herc sighed a bit, not sure what to feel about _anything_ , and glanced over at a glaring Alex.

“I was sleeping.”

“For once.”

“And you woke me up.”

“John had a nightmare.”

“Oh.” Alex crawled across Herc and wiggled in between the others, electing a slight protest from Herc.

“Alex, mon cher, you always want the middle,” Laf sighed. Herc laughed and slid over, choosing to nibble on the back of John’s neck.

 

It was later. John was aware of that. He had drifted in and out of sleep all day, exhausted from a night of pure terror. God. He didn’t even want to think about it, and yet the subject nagged on his mind until he granted it entrance, piece by piece until it consumed him and John had to put down his pencil and crawl back into bed.

As a result, most of the morning was lost on him. He remembered his dreams, remembered Herc waking him up from the last one, remembered downing a cup of coffee as if it was his only link to life.

Other than that, time had become so befuddled and twisted around in John’s head that it was hardly a recognizable subject. He woke up again around what he thought was midday, but only because an insistent Alexander had nuzzled up against him until he woke up.

“Good,” Alex said, grinning like the sun itself. “You’re awake.”

“Hi Alex,” John whispered, wanting nothing more than to turn back into the relatively peaceful land of sleep. The nightmares had passed over and he had returned to fleeting images of a woman who looked an awful lot like him.

“Hey, babe. Come on, let’s have lunch. I know you don’t feel like it but you really should.”

John groaned and flopped petulantly onto his stomach, burying his face in the pillows. Alex sighed.

“Herc?”

A fain response that John couldn’t make out through the pillows. Alex leaving the bed, the extra weight lifting from beside him. Footsteps, drawing closer. Why was John’s heart pounding?

He braced himself.

A pair of arms, strong and sure, wrapping around his waist and hoisting John up into the air, electing a squeak of protest before John realized that it was Herc and he was carrying him.

“Herc, what the fuck,” he deadpanned, glaring up. John hated being babied. Hated it with a passion. But it was nice not to have to walk.

“We’re babying you today and you’re dealing with it, because Laf would have gone way farther by now if I hadn’t stopped them,” Alex chirped. John tipped his head back until a certain Alexander Hamilton came into view, upside down and grinning.

“I hate you,” John murmured, snuggling into Herc’s shirt.

“Love you too,” he sang back.

Laf was in the kitchen, no makeup, a pair of loose fabric shorts and a tank top, leaning elegantly against the counter. How did he always manage to look so put together? John figured that that certain aspect of Laf would forever remain a mystery.

“Lunch, mon chou?”

“I don’t know.”

“I found those cheese curds your obsessed with in the back of the fridge,” Herc said, absentminded.

“On second thought.” John was a sucker for cheese curds.

Alex laughed and delved into the cheese drawer. Herc still refused to put John down, cradling him in a bridal carry that gave John mixed emotions. Not that he was complaining, exactly.

Laf swooped down. “Fever?”

“No.”

“Cough?”

“Laf, I’m not sick.”

“Sneezing?”

“I can confirm- John is not sick.”

“Laf, chill. Herc’s just carrying me. I’m not dying,” John sighed.

“Okay, now let me take you to the couch.”

“Laf, what the fuck.”

“Non, I am doing it,” Laf said, scooping John from Herc’s arms and waltzing over to the sofa.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

John sighed and facepalmed, letting Laf set him down onto the couch with ease. Alex vaulted over the back and landed in an obnoxiously perfect criss-cross position, cheese curds in hand.

“Give me those.”

“Gladly.”

John munched on cheese curds, Alex simply talked, and Herc and Laf danced in a few times, but it was mostly the pair of them. John felt surprisingly cried-out. He was feeling better now, the initial shock and fear washing over him.

“Hey, John?”

“Yeah, babe?’

Alex was worrying his lip, though clearly trying to look confident. “Ya know that guy I argued with in the coffee shop?”

“Yes?”

“He looked so familiar and it’s bugging me.”

John sighed. Alex was too damn oblivious sometimes. “It’s because he looks like Laf and because he’s a YouTuber. Thomas Jefferson. The one you like to rant about.”

Alex’s eyes grew wide. “Oh…” He trailed off, staring into something that wasn’t there. He jumped back to reality with a physical bounce, forcing John to hide a snicker. “Oh! How did I not see that?”

“I think because he had glasses on.”

“True.” Alex crawled over to John, bumping under his arm to initiate an embrace. “Thanks. That was bothering me and I don’t know why.”

“Yeah, of course.” Why was Alex being so damn weird about it though?

John shook the thought away and busied himself with making Alex laugh from a flurry of light kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay questions
> 
> anyway todays come from ceeceemulligan and KamiChameleon thanks yall u rock <3333333333333333333333
> 
> q: do you have a fav motivational quote?  
> a: "hope is the thing with feathers"... and lins "love is love... cannot be killed or swept aside" 
> 
> q: (i paraphrased this) BUCKET LIST  
> a: oooooo okay so travel all of norway, hopefully do an exchange year or smthn because i really want to get in touch with the family members there and record all of the old stories and improve my language abilities and pick up a neat dialect (but not stavanger because i never know wtf they are saying like can u speak comprehensibly pls and thank you), go to columbia university, see as many musicals as possible, play heather chandler, meet the obc of hamilton because i love them, and learn ASL
> 
> q: what really annoys you?  
> a: people who walk slow. i have long legs and i walk fast naturally and then there are pEOPLE IN MY WAY AND THEY WONT MOVE OMFG. also, wearing bracelets. i cannot stand bracelets in general, but when theyre on my left hand.... oooooooooo i feel like screaming just thinking about it and can never ever ever wear anything on my left hand, not even a hair tie i physically cannot have it there or i will rip it off forecfully UGH
> 
> okaaaaaaaaaaaaaay now from KamiChameleon 
> 
> q: what got you into hamilton?   
> a: my musical obsessed neighbor who carpooled with us and played the headband charades game with hamilton ish and i was like "how tf does she know this much stuff about it" and then i listened to satisfied and BOOM 
> 
> i fell into a deep dark pit of lams and now i live in a hamiltrashcan 
> 
> q: what do you look like?   
> a: i think i answered this but i cant remember haha but basically i'm super tall (like almost six feet and not as tall as my madre yet), blonde, blue eyes, i got tanned like five years ago and i'm still tanned like is this viking magic... ummmmm... my hands are the same size as abraham lincolns???? which is cool and yet depressing???????????
> 
> q: have you ever heard of the anime hetalia?  
> a: :3yissssssssssssssssssssssssssssss 
> 
> i have not been able to snag a full episode yet because i'm lazy af but i have fallen into the pinterest and tumblr holes and denmark is my child 
> 
> q: which do you like more, ragti or ragtfy?  
> a: i'd say i love them equally but tbh i really, really loved writing ragti. the plot in this one hasnt really thickened and developed and i liked writing the fluff and angst and shit. i'm going back through the early chapters of ragti now tho because damn they are shit. but i like this one too, and also hamiltrash incorporated because its fun. this one is great though because i get to interact with yall more and I LOVE IT OMG YALL ARE LITTLE ANGELS AND YOUR COMMENTS MAKE ME SO HAPPY AND IS IT WEIRD THAT I FEEL LIKE WE'RE FRIENDS IN A WAY IS THAT CREEPY?????????????????????
> 
> anywho thanks for the questions! hmu in the comment sections i love getting to talk with u ^^ 
> 
> ps the ":3" is so perfectly lafayette that i cant handle it


	18. Showstopper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hOlA 
> 
> IT RAINED DURING THE ECLIPSE SO I COULDN'T SEE A FUCKING THING OMG
> 
> anywhoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Eliza woke up slowly, clearly out of it. Maria grinned down. “Hi there.” Eliza frowned.

“Maria, how did I not notice that you had the same last name as… as James?”

A little laugh. “Oh, god, Eliza. It’s not a super uncommon name and it wouldn’t have really come to you. Besides, I only called him my… my boyfriend.”

“Right. Sorry. That was just bothering me.” Eliza nuzzled back down into her doze. Maria smiled at the ceiling and relaxed into the pillows.

                                                                                     

There was something so very languid about Thomas that made James feel as though he was swimming in a pool of honey. Thomas made him feel like he was curled on a porch swing, staring out over the rolling fields and fiery sunsets and listening to the hum of cicadas while sipping sweet tea. Time slowed down around Thomas’s sweet southern accent and matching charm. James didn’t feel awkward or clumsy with him, as he had with other crushes.

Did he have a crush on Thomas Jefferson?

Oh yeah. James was deep down in the hole of crushes. And how could you not be, with a man like him?

 

Law books were a real problem. Where was that _one_ line, that one footnote? That one brief mention that could make or break an entire case. Angelica knew that she had a solid offence, a solid line of proof, a solid group of witnesses. She had everything she needed and she knew that her case was steadfast, but she wanted to ensure that there was nothing to bring them down. This case was important, not because it could build her law career or destroy it before it was even started, but because Angelica _cared_.

Yes, Angelica was a tough girl. A tough, smart, no-nonsense, seemingly unfazed girl with more work ethic and brains than the rest of the school combined. But she did care. She cared a lot.

She cared about her sisters, Maria (who was practically her sister-in-law), Lafayette and Alexander and Hercules. But Angelica cared an awful lot about John- not as much as she cared about Eliza and Peggy, but an exceedingly large amount. Angie had seen him at his worst, at his best, felt his pain first hand throughout the interviews back in his old apartment. She had held him through tears and talked him through nightmares over the phone. Angie had been the second person to see John’s back. She’d been the first to know about John’s speculations about his mother’s death and been the one to tell him about the coma. Angie had touched the taboo subjects and flipped the most dangerous of rocks.

And now John’s fate lay in her hands.

So, Angie tore the apartment to shreds for those elusive lines because she had to.

Her phone buzzed from the other side of the house. Thankfully, not Alex’s sirens. She groaned and wiggled out from under the bed, still emptyhanded.

Angie managed to get a hold on the phone before the ringing ceased.

“Hey Herc, what’s up?” Angie pressed speaker and dropped to peer beneath the couch.

“Nothing good.” Something in Herc’s voice made Angelica pop back up and lean in close.

“Spit it out.”

There was indistinct mumbling. A few French words- curses, most likely- and several loud sighs. A crackle, and Herc returned. “Okay, they’ve shut up. I’ve been elected to propose an idea to you- go away, Alex. No one in the bathroom when I’m calling.”

“You’re calling me from the bathroom.”

“Yes.”

“Herc, you are actual shit.”

A faint _“Confirmed!”_ and a loud _“Alexander Hamilton!”_ Angie sighed.

“Okay, I’m back for real now. Anyway, we have a proposition.

“Just tell me.”

“Yeah, yeah, chill.” A deep breath. “John- _we_ \- want you to release the tapes.”

Angie froze. “Are you serious.”

“Yes?”

“Herc, you are batshit crazy. Why?”

“Henry’s back in town.”

 _Fuck_.

“Damn right.”

Had she said that out loud? Oh well. Angie would have said it anyway. “Okay, but that’s still completely- _oh_.”

“I told you she’d get it!” John hollered.

“What the fuck; are you eavesdropping?”

“Of course we are, mon cher.”

“They mean no.”

“I am just being honest!”

“That’s not how America works, babe.”

“All of you, shut up. Angie, are you still there?”

“Yeah, dumbass. Okay, okay, okay. You want me to release the tell-all interviews, the ones I was saving for court, because you think it will embarrass Henry enough that he’ll either get the fuck out of the city or stay far, far away from John.”

A pause. “Yes.”

Angie inhaled and blew out a frustrated groan. “That’s actually not a bad idea, it’s just… courtroom evidence….”

“Alex thinks it’ll be okay.”

“Yes, I know it’ll be okay, but I want it to be a showstopper. Fresh, never heard before evidence. Fuck, Herc, this might mess up my whole approach.”

“Please? Angie, it’s what John wants.”

She massaged her temple. “Yeah. Yeah, okay, I’ll send it off tomorrow.”

“Today?”

“Ugh, fine. You owe me. And tell Alex he’s a piece of shit.”

“Can do.”

“”kay, bye.”

“Adios, Angelica.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok their was some ragti references and plot hole fixing in this but also THE PLOT BEGINS
> 
> today's questions are from ceeceemulligan, who has also given me an idea that i really like
> 
> so
> 
> THE DIE IS CAST, THE SCENE IS SET, AND THE CURTAIN RISES


	19. Idk. Pt WTF AO3

well hello dear readers

 

ao3 decided to be annoying and not post the end of my note, from what i can tell so IMMA POST THE Q&A AGAIN BECAUSE IM UNSURE

 

 

q: if you were an animal, what kind would you be?

a: i'd like to say a fox, but it's more likely that i'm a hedgehog (think jawn watson)

 

q: if you could do one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?

a: realistically? teaching. wishfully? daydreaming. 

 

q: what was your view on the hamiltonian styles of music before and after hamilton?

a: oooooooooo good question. i still don't really listen to rap that much but my love for classic broadway and mod broad (i made that up heheee) has quadrupled 

 

q: had you heard of lin/any cast member before the show?

a: no, actually... *self disappointment* 

 

anyway idk if they were there for you but even when i log out and go check ITS NOT THERE so here it is againnnnnnn luv you byeeee <3

 

-rosy


	20. Backlash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short but necessary so i stuffed it in here because i am the queen of short chapters

The email was sent. Eliza watched Angelica nervously from the couch, letting her pace and glare and mutter. Anxious Angie was a ticking time bomb, primed to explode into pure rage at any moment. Peggy had stepped in the door, noticed her sister, and promptly left for her girlfriend’s apartment.

Maria had a meeting with her potential business partners, leaving Eliza stranded in the living room.

“Angie, chill. It’ll be okay.”

“Fuck no, it won’t.”

“Angelica Schuyler, watch your mouth.”

“This is a half-baked plan at best. Why did I send it? Why did I listen. Oh, because _John_ asked you to. Why in the world did you listen to John or any of his idiotic partners? Dammit, Angelica, you really messed up this time. Let’s watch the backlash and wait for the media to tear it apart and just _loose the element of surprise_. Fuck!” Angelica had stopped in the middle of the room to rant to herself. Eliza sighed.

“Chinese or pizza.”

“What?”

“What should I order; Chinese or pizza?”

Angie bit her lip. “Pizza is excellent comfort food.”

“But you want egg rolls.”

“Yeah…”

“Both?”

“You’re the best. Unlike this fucking plan!”

“Oh my _god_.”

 

Sure enough, the tapes made waves. Lawyers were criticizing their release, to which Angelica merely proclaimed that she had her reasons. The media burst out in flames, taking two vastly different sides of the argument- that they were faked or that they were condemning evidence against Henry Laurens for abuse and possible murder.

John skipped out on class for a week, opting instead to violently paint and ignore his phone.

Alexander punched three people- two of which for undermining the tapes, one of which for being an asshole.

Herc pricked his fingers with his needle until the pads of his digits were covered in tiny red dots. His hands were shaking too badly for any real progress to be made on the dress.

Laf uploaded a video that consisted of a lot of muttered French and emotions, which got added into the media mix to their confusion. _“I do not see why they think that my video matters at all.”_

Angelica locked herself in her room and tore apart all of her law books in search of a way to recover.

Eliza stress-baked once again, which ended up in her nearly setting the oven on fire, resulting in a stronger need to stress bake.

Peggy took to cuddling with her girlfriends at all possible times and getting into arguments at school.

Maria chopped her lipstick into tiny pieces with a kitchen knife purely to deal with her tornado of feelings.

And Henry Laurens? He sat in his hotel room and planned. Plotted, more like. Was this going to stop him? No.

When politics clashed with law and emotion, nothing ever went well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP IVE BEEN LISTENING TO "THE WORLD WILL KNOW" ON CONSTANT REPEAT AND NOW I FEEL LIKE GOING INTO BATTLE AND TEARING DOWN THE PATRIARCHY WOAH
> 
> anyway today's questions come from the fabulous And_Penny tysm <3
> 
> q: how old are you?  
> a: fourteeeeeeeen agh
> 
> q: do you wear glasses?  
> a: nope 
> 
> q: why do you want to learn ASL?  
> a: i think that it's a really cool language and that deaf culture is something that needs to be more widely recognized and appreciated. also i think that everyone should know at lest some asl so that we can all communicate with each other. yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah dats it really
> 
> q: how many languages do you know and what are they?  
> a: two fluently: english and norwegian. my mom also speaks german and my grandma speaks spanish so i'm passable in those too as well (hopefully asl in the future) 
> 
> q: religion (or lack there of) or moral beliefs?  
> a: i have a rly weird relationship with religion, but i consider myself more of an athiest for sure. i've drifted away from religion in general mostly because i believe that everyone should be kind, moral people without having to back up their actions with a religion. religion has also caused so many divisions within humanity and people tend to hide behind religion to protect prejudices and stuff and i've just stepped back from it all and i'm really happy with that (whoops that got deeeeeeeeeeeeeep)
> 
> q: what are your tips for writer's block?  
> a: oh gosh. i find that writing fanfiction is absolutely fabulous when i can't think of original shit. write a little coffee shop au or something- it absolutely does not have to be plot heavy or super original or anything. heck, write smut if you need to. publish it if you're comfortable with it. i swear comments are what keep me writing. seeing yall react to and enjoy the story. write and write and write and go on tumblr or pinterest and find cool aus or look at character designs and that stuff and read and read and read. 
> 
> q: favorite non-musical songs/artist/albums?  
> a: bastille, oh wonder, melanie martinez, sondre justad, halsey... that's it really XD
> 
> anyway THANKS YALL FOR BEING AMAZING HUMANS LUV U MWAH


	21. Idk Pt. Hopefully the Last One (I'm Lying It's Not)

well hello dear readers

so, i start fucking high school on tuesday, so i have no idea how often i'll be updating. expect something on saturdays and maybe smaller chapters throughout the week. i'm really excited for the next parts of this story so i'll definitely continue (i'm not abandoning you don't worry) and i want to start another chapter fic after this ones done.

I _have_ decided that ragtfy will be the last serious raise a glass fic. i do want to do a smaller fic that's like  _50 years later..._ or smthn but i'm playing it by ear

anyway thanks for sticking with me ILYSM!!!!!

okay question time

i have two from ceeceemulligan up first!

 

q: how do you want to come across to others (personality wise), and how do you think others see you?

a: oh goshhhhhhhhhh. okay. i feel like i'm very self-aware, so i try to be super in control of myself and my emotions which is probs not healthy. anyway, i know i have a really bad temper and i have to work really hard to keep that in check so i hopefully come across as nice because THAT SHIT BETTER BE WORKING OH MY GOD. i try to come across as humble (especially because i know that i can be very vain) but, like, smart? and friendly? why am i questioning my existence? but also witty and funny? SOCIETY SUCKS. moving on... i really don't know how others see me, to be honest. 

 

q: do you think your internet personality differs from your real-life personality?

a: i think so, at least a little bit. it's very very similar to the personality i have with my closest friends but pretty different from the one i tend to put out to the world. i'm pretty excited to be starting with a clean slate this year, which kinda gives me a chance to be truer to myself than i was in texas. so. uGH.

 

thanks for the questions! now i have a few from And_Penny!

 

q: favorite books/authors?

a: ok ok ok. so my number one favorite book series is The Penderwicks by Jeanne Birdsall. they are all falling apart and i have them practically memorized. they're my comfort books that i read when i'm feeling down. next, Harry Potter. i'm a little bit obsessed??? so JK Rowling, of course (where are my ravenclaws at). i also really, really love the illuminae chronicles by amy kaufmann and jay kristoff. they are such original and amazing books. i'm so excited for the third book omfg. those are the three series that i read over and over and over again. 

p.s. FUN FACT! the internet/writing pseudonym i use is stolen from the eldest penderwick sister

 

q: what countries/states have you been to?

a: oh goodness. tons and tons and tons of states (my family's into roadtrips and i've driven every time i've moved). i've yet to leave the u.s. though (UGH). i really want to do an exchange year to norway during high school though so that may change soonish.

 

q: what other fandoms are you a part of?

a: harry potter, for sure, and sherlock. hamilton's the main one though. nothing's ever impacted me as much as hamilton has.

 

q: favorite tv shows/movies?

a: sherlock, turn, mercy street, victoria, downton abbey, how i met your mother, the andy griffith show, and so you think you can dance (if that counts. I'M MAD ABOUT DASSY THAT WAS A MISTAKE I WANT HER BACK). my fav movies are heathers, a league of their own, master and commander (i love russel crowe) and mean girls because why the fuck not.

 

q: do you have any odd particulars?

a: ooh yeah. i always journal with the exact same pen. always the same one. i always use the same type of pencil for art (6b and 8b or ebony pencils). i walk up and down the stairs when i need to think and i rub my eraser on my lips when i'm concentrating (kinda like how sherlock always his hands up to his face when he thinks). idk if those really count but here they are.

 

q: how would you describe your clothing style?

a: leggings and oversized sweaters. so... casual comfortable for the most part but i love wearing my bomber jacket and combat boots too. it tends to change. somedays its sweatpants and no makeup and other days i'm in skinny jeans and eyeshadow when i'm really just at home all day.

 

q: do you have a lot of close friends, just a few, or none at all?

a: i have one very, very, very close friend in texas and then a group of very close friends in minnesota and then, like, friends (you know what i mean)

 

q: any hobbies or extracurriculars?

a: writing, reading, crying about john laurens, fighting people on the internet for being homophobic, drawing, crying over fanfiction, and THEATRE CREW YALL WE RULE

 

thank you for the questions!!!!!1 y'all rock my socks. new chapters soon <3

 

p.s. sending all my love to texas. i know how strong you are and i know that we will pull through this. stay strong <33333


	22. Coffee and a Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay a chapter

“God fucking dammit,” Alex muttered, pausing at a newspaper stand on his was to class. Yet another unwanted headline. He rubbed his hand across the eyes and blinked, as if that would help the ink shift into something else.

“How’s he doing?”

Alex jumped and stiffened, spinning around to find himself face to face with none other than Thomas Jefferson, glasses perched on his nose and thick scarf around his neck.

“Jefferson.”

“Thomas, please. How’s John?” There was mild concern in his voice. A taxi zoomed by, sending leaves spinning around them. The vendor was scrolling through his phone, leaving Alex free to speak. It was getting colder. Alex tucked his hands deeper into his pockets and huffed.

“He’s about as good as you can imagine. Why do you care?”

“You know, I’m from a political family too.”

“Oh. Family friends?”

“Of a sort.”

They stood in silence for a moment. Thomas was handsome. Alex couldn’t keep his heart from fluttering. Shit.

“I have class.”

“Wanna grab coffee on the way?” Thomas offered, smiling a little.

Alex hesitated. What was this? Was Thomas flirting? Was Alex crushing? No. No, Thomas knew that Alex had three partners and Alex was happy with them and he _would not let this happen_.

“Yeah. Yeah, sure, but fast.”

“Okay,” Thomas laughed.

They matched paces and departed from the newspaper stand. Alex sighed, inhaling the cool, fresh air of fall. John loved the fall. Laf loved all of the seasons (typical) and Herc had a certain fondness for winter. Alex didn’t know if he had a favorite. Maybe spring.

“What’s your favorite season?” he blurted.

“Fall or spring. What’s yours?” Thomas smiled down, the light catching his face and making Alex want to jump off a cliff.

“Spring, I think. Let’s just ask questions. I don’t know you all that well.”

“Okay,” Thomas breathed. “Uh, cats or dogs?”

“Cats.”

“What the fuck? You seem like a dog person.”

“Excuse me.”

“Okay, okay, sorry.” Thomas held his hands up in surrender.  

“Alright. Coffee or tea?”

“Coffee; I’m not British.”

“Goddammit, Thomas. But yeah, coffee.”

They neared a Starbucks. Alex glanced up and shrugged. Thomas mimed barfing. “Nope, nope, I know a place.”

God. This felt like a date. Almost. Alexander’s head was spinning. He couldn’t, absolutely couldn’t, start feeling things for Thomas. For one, he didn’t really want to have another relationship alongside the one with John, Herc, and Laf. Alex knew that he was hardly capable of one romance, and even though the others would probably be okay with an open relationship of sorts. But the idea of… _no_. No.

“You know, you’re much cooler in real life than on your channel,” Alex murmured.

“Same could be said for you.”

“Fair.”

“Here.”

“What?”

“Coffee. Here.”

It was a small place, slim and tall and squeezed between what seemed like a bookshop and a hipster startup office. _The Revolutionary_. Painted a flushed crimson, which reminded Alex of the blush that tended to creep into John’s cheeks. Frosty glass like Laf’s highlighter and dark wood like Herc’s eyes. Strange.

“Look’s cute.”

“Oh, trust me, it is. And they have the _best_ muffins.”

“If this place is so fantastic, why were you at Theodosia’s?”

“It’s closer to our dorm.”

“Right. That short boy is your roommate.”

“He’s taller than you,” Thomas laughed. They seemed to be doing that a lot. Laughing. Alex felt happy, which something he’d been striving to find in the cloud that seemed to hover in their apartment.

“Still. He feels smaller.”

“True. But it’s cute. James in general, actually.”

“Ooh, Thomas likes James.”

“Hey, okay, _no_.” Thomas pushed inside the coffee shop, sharing a grin with the girl at the counter. “Hi, Dolly.”

“Don’t lie to me, Thomas,” Alex quipped, bouncing along behind him. “Hurry up. I need to get to class.”

“Fine, fine. Dolly, can we get two coffees?”

“Yep,” Dolly said, popping the word happily. “Cream? Sugar? I’m guessing you don’t want decaf.”

“I’ll have cream. Alex?”

“Neither, please.”

“Neither? How do you drink that?” Thomas exclaimed.

“I’m tired and bitterness is the best flavor.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“Shut up and spill the beans.”

“Ugh, yeah.”

They plopped onto a couch in the back corner, Thomas kicking his feet up onto the coffee table.

“Yeah, you have a crush?”

A blush showed through Thomas’s carefully controlled demeanor.

“That’s a yes.”

“Here you go,” Dolly called, gesturing to the two cups on the counter.

“I’ve gotta go,” Alex said, slightly regretful. An impromptu coffee run with Thomas Jefferson was the last thing he ever expected to do that day, much less have a good time. Whatever he was feeling didn’t matter. Alex figured he could handle a few more friends. For the record, all of his guy friends had turned into boyfriends.

“Right. Have fun. We should do this again.”

“Definitely. I didn’t hate it.”

“I’m flattered.”

“Stop by Theodosia’s sometime, maybe.”

“Yeah, sure!” Thomas grinned. “Give me your phone.”

“What? Why?”

“To put my number in, idiot.”

“Oh.” Alex handed it over and watched Thomas tap across the screen and press save, managing to do it all while grabbing his coffee.

“Er, thanks,” Alex said, awkward all of a sudden as he tucked the phone back into his pocket. “For the coffee, I mean.”

“No problem.”

 

John felt strange, walking past the Schuyler’s door and to the next one. It felt natural to stop and knock, but he breathed heavily and pressed on. Peggy had invited John and Laf over to meet her girlfriends. Laf had an arm slung over John’s shoulder and was describing a new sponsor they had.

It would have been perfect, had the nagging in the back of his mind and the pit in his stomach disappeared.

“Are you excited? I am! These girlfriends must be treating our Peggy well, or else I will be very upset.”

“Yeah, I’m a little excited. Peggy’ll be okay though, whatever happens.”

“Oui, you are right, but we do not know.” Laf bit their bottom lip, running white teeth and pink tongue over the deep plum they wore today. John watched, a lazy smile growing on his face as he studied Laf’s thick, dark lashes and sharp cheekbones.

“You’re beautiful. I don’t think you know how insanely breathtaking you are.”

“John, mon petit, I do not hold a candle to you.”

“Don’t lie, Laf. I’m serious.”

Laf gave a breathy laugh. “This is it, non?”

“Huh?” John glanced up. “Oh. Oh, yeah, this is the place.” He moved to knock, but a gentle grip on his wrist stopped him. John turned, meeting Laf’s mischievous eyes.

“One kiss, mon petit?”

“Just one,” John breathed, stepping back until he was facing Laf in one of those cheesy movie poses, hands clasped between them. The smallest of happy smiles crossed John’s face before he rose up on his toes to press his lips to Laf’s.

The door banged open.

“Okay, no hallway sex please.” An unfamiliar voice.

“Mmh,” John affirmed, still locked in a kiss. He was positive that he would have fallen to the floor long ago is it weren’t for the strong hand in the small of his back.

They pulled apart, lips lingering as Peggy snickered from the doorway. A final chaste kiss to John’s forehead and a little laugh and the moment was gone. But wasn’t that the point of a moment? It had to leave, or else they become a sort of living dream instead of another happy memory.

“Damn, John, we never kissed like that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm fixing plot holes if you couldn't tell (read john's q&a in ragti if u wanna know who it is) 
> 
> anywhoooooooooooo i'm saving questions for the next chapter bc i answered a ton in my last idk chapter. next chapter is gonna be big btw so stick around for extreme fluff
> 
> i got bitch slapped by the merlin fandom last night so i am now a hard core merlin/arthur shipper even though i havent seen a single episode (is it on netflix????????????????????) but goddamn more historical gay couples YES
> 
> welp luv u keep being chill ass people


	23. The Big Chapter™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well
> 
> high school is hell (but we navigate it well)
> 
> actually i just wanted to make a reference and tbh things aren't super shitty. theatre crew is fucking badass (magic mike the musical is real yall)

A date. A real, get-dressed-up-and-go-somewhere date. They hadn’t been on a date in… months, at least. But now Eliza stood before her mirror, nervously smoothing out her dress and triple checking for any mascara marks on her eyelids of swipes of lipstick on her teeth.

“You look fine. Now get your ass out of that bathroom because I have to pee,” Angelica commanded, tapping impatiently on the door. “Eliza, she’s deeply in love with you so I think you can relax. Now get out of this damn bathroom.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.” Eliza took a deep breath and pushed the door open, pausing in the doorway to show Angie her ensemble.

“Isn’t that my dress?”

“Maybe.”

“Oh well. The color looks good on you,” Angelica commended, scanning the pale blue. “Wear your tan pumps.”

Eliza sighed. “Okay. Thanks.”

“Stop by the girls’ place to show Peggy,” Angie called as she disappeared into the bathroom and threw up the toilet seat with vigor.

“Fine.” Eliza let out yet another sigh, hesitating in the living room before heading back to her room to find said pumps.

A goddamn _date_. Why was this freaking Eliza out so much? Of course, she and Maria were probably the most casual of daters besides Peggy and her girlfriends. Quick coffee runs and movie nights and late-night phone calls and chaste kisses when they passed each other on campus. They hardly ever went out for dinner, but when they did, Eliza turned into a nervous wreck and she didn’t have a single clue as to why. Peggy cited an intense fear of breadsticks.

She had her pumps on, pacing up and down the hall to ensure that she was comfortable in heels again. Back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and her phone was ringing. Eliza practically fell in her rush to press it. Was Maria cancelling.

“Hi Maria!”

“I’m not your girlfriend. I’m your frustrated sister who’s extremely annoyed because your stupid pumps click on the floor and I’m trying to have some quiet time in the bathroom.”

“Angelica, what the fuck,” Eliza deadpanned, hanging up and slamming the phone back onto the coffee table.

“Just go over to Peggy’s. I’ll direct Maria over there,” Angie called from the bathroom.

“Peggy still lives with us, idiot.”

“Honestly, she spends more time over there than with us.”

“I mean, she does have three girlfriends to keep her distracted.

“Yuck. Get the hell out of my apartment, Elizabeth.”

“Your apartment?!” Eliza exclaimed, incredulous. But she snatched her bag and stomped to the door, opening it with pointed frustration and slamming it behind her.

In the corridor, she could breathe.

Eliza stomped down to the next door, taking a few calming breaths as she arrived. Lots and lots of breathing. She knocked lightly and bounced on the balls of her feet.

Lafayette opened the door almost immediately. “Eliza!”

“Hi Laf. You and John still here?” Eliza softened into their enthusiastic hug.

“Oui. Mattie and John dated in high school while they were pretending not to be gay.”

“Goodness. Listen, I can only stay for a moment. Angelica kicked me out and Maria’s picking me up soon for a date.”

“Oh, Angie,” Peggy groaned, popping up over Laf’s shoulder. “Cute dress. Isn’t it Angie’s?”

“Yes,” Eliza quipped.

Laf let her go. John and Mattie were tucked into a corner of the couch, chatting quietly. Lizzie and Adrienne stood in the kitchen doorway, watching with interest. Eliza waved a little and Laf bounded over to resume his fast-paces French with Adrienne. Peggy sighed. “I think Laf’s a little jealous.”

“Um, yeah. They don’t have to worry about anything, though. I mean, neither are attracted to each other, right?” Eliza tapped her thigh nervously. Maria better hurry up. The tension in the apartment was murderous.

“Yep. But, it’s Laf. They’re protective.”

“Okay, but still.”

“Still,” Peggy agreed, sighing yet again.

Lizzie walked over, looking relieved that she had an excuse to leave the French onslaught. “Hey Eliza. So, a date tonight?”

Eliza nodded, feeling self-conscious in her dress all of a sudden.

“You look amazing. Seriously.” Lizzie sipped whatever was in the cup she was holding. “Don’t worry, this is just iced tea.”

“I wasn’t-.”

“Yes, you were,” Peggy said.

“Okay, I am not a _total_ mom.”

“I know. You’re the grandma, Herc’s the mom.”

“Peggy, remember when you told me that you thought Lizz-?”

“No! No, I don’t, I’m sorry, I take it back,” Peggy cried, frantically slapping her hand over Eliza’s mouth amid Lizzie’s peals of laughter. “Lizzie, stop laughing at me, hey, was that a knock?”

“Ooh, distraction techniques,” Lizzie whispered, wiggling her eyebrows. Eliza giggled and turned, realizing that Peggy had left to get the door. _Oh_.

Maria stood, looking like a fucking goddess in her slim red dress and elegantly swept curls. Eliza’s heart skyrocketed. She knew she was staring, but how could she not?

“Damn, Maria, you’re stunning,” Peggy breathed, pressing a dramatic hand to her heart.

“Simplement renversant,” Laf sighed, skipping over to survey every angle of the gown. Maria blushed deeply, brushing a wisp of hair behind her ear and grinning at the ground.

“Hi, Eliza.”

“Maria, you look- you look _gorgeous_.”

She snorted a little. “Have you looked in a mirror? You’re beautiful.”

They crossed the room, hands finding each other’s and lips meeting soon after in a short kiss. “Hi,” Eliza breathed, eyes locked on Maria’s in a heated gaze that whipped up a conflicted storm of heightened nervousness and passive calm.

A hurricane.

Eliza closed her eyes and swallowed her nervousness, pulling Maria in tight and wondering if she could feel the anticipation buzzing in Eliza’s veins.

“You ready to go?”

Eliza took in a deep breath. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m ready.” Her stomach twisted and jumped. She needed to get a hold of herself. The world seemed off and she didn’t know why.

 

It had been ages since her email was this crowded. Of course, any person like Angelica would always have a full inbox, but this was _hundreds and hundreds_ of the exact same email. And, no, she didn’t have any comments to make on the tape’s release (read: fuck off). Yes, there was a reason (of a sort). No, she was not concerned (a lie).

It was getting late. Eliza had been gone for a little while and Peggy had texted to say that Mattie and John were still catching up. Angelica had the apartment to herself- both a curse and a blessing. There was no one to complain to, but no one to bother with her muttered train of thought.

Her phone buzzed. Peggy was coming home. Angelica sighed.

 

tequila: omw back

 

angel: I think im going to the library

 

tequila: aint the library closed its like 8:30

 

angel: ugggggggggggggggggggh theodosias then

 

tequila: y

 

tequila: is it case stuff

 

angel: isn’t everything

 

tequila: u r overworking urself

 

angel: fuck off I have better things to do that argue with u

 

tequila: chill chill

 

angel: I’m leaving

 

tequila: ok

 

tequila: john and laf have been summoned by herc to get alex to relax a bit

 

tequila: mattie and lizzie and Adrienne r going to a bar which I have been banned from for life

 

angel: by who

 

tequila: the manager

 

angel: how the fuck did u get into a bar u look like a twelve year old

 

tequila: magic

 

tequila: so I am alooooooooooooone

 

tequila: alone and I have three girlfriends

 

tequila: angie do u ever get lonely

 

angel: get ur ass back here and go to sleep

 

 

Herc and Alex were curled together into some strange pretzel, a large piece of fabric draped over Alex’s shoulders. John and Laf grinned at each other, catching Herc’s frantic stare. _He’s asleep._

 _How the fuck?_ John mouthed.

Laf disappeared into the kitchen for a snack. Herc gestured John over to the couch. He watched John’s movements carefully- a spring in his step and a light in his eyes. Laf had fired off a quick series of confusing texts, mostly in French, that Google Translate had garbled into something about an ex-girlfriend.

John sat down as softly as possible, lowering himself onto the couch behind Alex with the grace of a ballerina, to no avail. Alex shot up, muttering something about the “stupidity of the electoral college”.

“Come on, babe, you’re supposed to be asleep,” Herc sighed, motioning Alex to snuggle in. “How were the girlfriends?”

“Hi John,” Alex murmured, nuzzling against Herc’s chest. Sleepy Alex was a rare occurrence.

“Hi Alexander,” John whispered, wiggling over to make room for Laf, who had returned with a bowl of cereal.

“It’s hot when you call me Alexander.”

“You’ve said that before,” John laughed, letting Laf drape themself over his legs to steal a kiss from Herc.

“Laf, everything you sent me was in French and Google Translate is a bitch.”

“Sorry,” Laf said around a mouthful of Cheerios. “Mattie and John dated in high school while they were pretending to be straight.”

“Dramatic,” Alex commented. Herc raised his eyebrows.

“That’s the girlfriend I’ve mentioned in videos. I didn’t know she was into girls and she didn’t know I was into guys, but we broke up right before we left for school… Mattie’s at NYU and we thought it might be hard going to different schools and doing different shit. And, you know, neither of us being into each other. She’s a great person, though, and she’ll take care of Peggy, so Laf can relax now.” John was mouthing the back of Alex’s neck.

Herc nodded. “’kay. That’s cool.”

“The other two are nice. Adrienne speaks French.”

“Isn’t she exchange?”

“Oui. It was nice to talk with her. She is very interesting.” Laf drained the remaining milk in one smooth gulp, setting the bowl on the floor and attempting to crawl over John into Herc’s lap. Herc laughed.

“Cuddles tonight?”

“Oui. But not on the couch.”

“I’m not moving,” Alex protested.

“Oh well,” John quipped, wiggling backwards off of the sofa.

Herc sighed happily. He was cuddling with the three people he loved most in the world, his heart singing (as cheesy as that sounded). He had clients lining up, a dress possibly headed for the runway. But, most importantly, he had Laf and Alex and John. And they were going to be alright.

 

The apartment was mostly dark, nothing but the lamp in the foyer, the bathroom nightlight and Peggy’s phone glow to illuminate the rooms. Eliza was off on her date, Angelica camping out in the back room of Theodosia’s in order to study, and her girlfriends were drinking the night away. Part of her longed to be with them, dancing under the strobe lights and fighting other customers, tossing back shots and getting lost in the haze.

But, the other part of her was glad to have the night to herself. She had a chocolate bar handy and her Tumblr feed to keep her busy.

Lee hadn’t texted her for a week or so. She had blocked his number, but the texts kept coming through despite her string of efforts.

_Are you free tonight?_

_You looked hot today._

_I see that your girlfriends are out today._

_No one needs to know._

_I’ll be good to you._

_Is this because of Angelica?_

There were footsteps in the hallway. Peggy jumped to attention, tracking the movement through the wall. The person moved on by. She snuggled down again.

A sudden knock on the door startled her back again. Peggy leapt to her feet. Angie, maybe. But Angelica Schuyler never forgets her keys. Eliza? No, she was staying at Maria’s. Lizzie? Mattie? Adrienne? The polysquad? Theodosia? The possibilities raced through her mind at breakneck speed, trying to avoid the most obvious of answers.

 _No. It wouldn’t be him. He wasn’t that ballsy_.

Peggy opened the door.

“Hi, Margarita. Can I come in?”

It wasn’t a question.

 

Eliza was sipping her water nervously, watching Maria absentmindedly swish her champagne around the glass. She looked beautiful, framed in the golden light, lips ever so slightly pursed as she perused the menu. Eliza’s thoughts strayed to her bag, slung over the back of her chair, and her stomach churned. Why was she so fucking _nervous_?

“The however-you-pronounce-that looks good,” Maria murmured, pointing to a dish listed under appetizers.

Eliza nodded her agreement. “Wanna split it? I’m honestly not that hungry…”

Maria inhaled and bounced a little. “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds great.”

She knew that she wouldn’t be able to take a single bite. Everything, everything in her life had been leading up to this. Her failed romance with Alexander, the start of the Schuyler’s YouTube channel, that fateful day when Laf invited Maria to their livestream, Maria’s divorce… it all rushed down the river of life to this waterfall.

God. Eliza steeled herself and reached back to her purse, discreetly fumbling with the latch and stretched down, searching for the velvet. Her fingers closed around it. her head was spinning and her vision was blurring that everything felt too loud all of a sudden and Maria was peering at her, concerned, asking _Eliza, are you alright?_ and she was perfectly fine but she needed to breath and she couldn’t and, and, _and_ …

And the box was in her lap and the world had cleared. Maria was leaning halfway across the table, eyes narrowed.

“Eliza, baby girl, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she laughed, still shaking. “I’m fine. Just… cramps. And shit.”

“Okay, good. I’ve got some meds, if you need it.”

“I’ll be alright. Thanks, though.” Eliza’s fingers found her water glass. Cold against her skin, sweet on her lips and down her throat. The room came through clearer afterwards. She took another sip. And another. And suddenly, half the glass was gone and the world was normal again. Maria was flagging down a waiter, a smile on her face.

“Actually, Maria, wait!” Eliza stuttered. Now or never, now or never.

“Babe, are you sure you’re okay? You seem a little- _oh_.” Maria froze. The waiter froze. The couples around them froze. Eliza’s heart froze. All she knew was the marble against her knee and the box in her hand, gently popped open to reveal the ring inside. Maria’s hands flew to her lips, a strangled sound escaping them before they were muffled behind her palm.

“Maria, you’re the light of my life, and I know that I’m young and you’re young but… I can’t see my life without you. Ever. Maybe we can wait a few years, until I’m, like, in grad school or whatever. God, I’m not as good with words as Angie or Alex or even Laf, but I love you. I love you more than I ever thought I could love somebody, and I want to marry you. I want to have kids with you and grow old with you and be able to love you for as long as I possibly can. So. Um, Maria Lewis, will you marry me?”

The room was silent.

“Oh my god, Eliza, of course I will.”

And there were soft hands on her waist and she was standing up and there were feather light lips on hers and dark curls brushing her shoulders and Eliza was laughing, actually laughing, as Maria swept her up in a twirling kiss as the room applauded and the ring slipped down over Maria’s finger and everything was perfect, absolutely perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my children *sob* 
> 
> no worries they're gonna wait until eliza's in grad school to actually marry bc she's a smol young bean though technically an adult... 
> 
> anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay so far the update schedule is going ok 
> 
> also did u see that plot hole i fixed w/ mattie (chapter two i think of ragti)


	24. Idk Pt. I'm bored as shit

I'm waiting in front of the school and I'm bored so I'm gonna answer some questions to celebrate the happy union. Chapter will be up tonightish but I need to distract myself soooooooo these are for And_Penny!

Q: what state do you live in?  
A: minnesooooooota but I'm a Texan at heart

Q: do you have Netflix?  
A: hell ya

Q: what kind of phone do you have and are you happy with it?  
A: I have an iPhone 6 and I like it a lot, actually. I mean it's ancient but it works and it's my child

Q: introvert, extrovert, or ambivert?   
A: ambiverttttttt

Q: what's your favorite truth or dare to give someone else?  
A: truth: What's the worst crime you think you could ever commit? dare: hug your least favorite person in the room (god that's a good one)

Q: best/worst/most interesting truth or dare you've received?  
A: lick the inside of your sock

Q: do you like carbonated drinks?  
A: to an extent... meaning lemon/lime and solo, which is a delicious Norwegian soda goddamn 

Q: do you like spicy food?  
A: nope nope nopeity nope


	25. A Crazy Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm a piece of shit: the musical
> 
> HEY ROSY WHY DIDN'T YOU UPDATE ASSHAT
> 
> idkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk i'm just actual trash

Peggy clutched her thumb within her curled palm, popping the knuckle and gritting her teeth. “Lee.”

He leaned against the doorframe, low smirk crossing his face. “Are you just going to let me stand here?”

“No,” Peggy muttered, watching his hands carefully. God, if only she had her phone on here, but she had left it on the couch. Stupid of her. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Good.”

Peggy blinked as he moved to push past her into the apartment. “Hold up, I didn’t mean that you could just-!”

Lee spun, eyes flashing and narrowing. Peggy’s heart leapt. “I do what I want, Schuyler. Good thing your sisters aren’t here, especially the pale one- she’s annoying as _fuck_ , which I’m sure you’ve noticed-.”

Red flashed her vision and her hands felt for the smooth porcelain that she knew lay just to her right… insulting Eliza, that was a new level of douchebaggery. Peggy ignored the churning of her stomach, fingers finding the sleek neck of the vase, and then she was lunging forward-.

 

John’s phone buzzed on the side table. Alex watched carefully, surveying the swell of John’s hips and the low dip of his waist, head swirling with the feeling of Herc beneath him and Laf’s hand resting on his stomach.

“John, don’t move, I’m fucking _cold_ now…”

“Shh, it’s only Peggy,” John murmured. The quilt fell down around Alex’s shoulders again as John flopped back onto the mattress. “Hey, Pegs, wha- _fuck_ , Peggy, are you- oh. Oh, okay, that’s understandable. I mean, did you check his pulse?”

Laf shot up at that. “What is going on?” Got a look from John.

“Okay, okay, I’m coming over. I can’t believe you- _a vase_ , fuck. No, no! Don’t do that- I’m a bio student, trust me.” John hung up, promptly turned face down into the pillow, and sighed.

“I want an explanation,” Alex grumbled. “Are you leaving us tonight?”

“I think it’s necessary. Peggy knocked Charles Lee out with a porcelain vase because he showed up at the apartment to, like, be creep and shit and then he insulted Eliza and she went all Sweeney Todd on him…”

“Is he dead?” Hercules asked, sleep heavy in his voice.

John choked on his breath. “Hopefully… not? She’s too stubborn to check his pulse.”

“Good. He’s a stalker and an idiot,” Alex muttered, drawing John back into a kiss. “Go on, our vodka child needs you.”

“Vodka child?!”

 

Maria and Eliza had settled into a cab together, wrapped up tightly, Maria forgetting to admire her ring in the light of Eliza’s joyous eyes.

“A few years, though,” Maria breathed. She never, never, _ever_ wanted to rush Eliza into marriage like she had been by James.

“Yeah,” Eliza murmured, eyes locked on Maria’s with a passion Maria hadn’t known existed. But it burned hot and bright in her brown irises, lips vaguely separated and fingers quivering in their place on Maria’s thighs.

“Eliza?”

“Mm?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Eliza answered with a low _“Thank god”_ , launching herself unceremoniously forward to snatch Maria in a searing kiss. Maria yelped in surprise, fingers tightening on Eliza’s waist, snaking down towards the small of her back and her upper thighs as the heat of the moment rose within her stomach. Eliza was moving her mouth in a way Maria hadn’t thought was possible. Teeth and tongue and little whimpers and moans and the feeling of Eliza’s soft fingers _squeezing_ and Maria’s hair getting caught up in a different hand and her back pressed against the door of the cab, legs sticking to the leather seat and peeling uncomfortably as she shifted to let Eliza’s legs around her hips-

“Is this the right address?”

Eliza and Maria broke apart for a millisecond to call out a _yes_ to the poor cab driver and to tumble out onto the sidewalk. Maria spun back for a moment as she slammed the door closed. “I’m engaged to her! We’re getting married!”

He sighed and smiled, shaking his head ever so slightly, pressing on the gas and rumbling away.

Eliza giggled and pulled Maria up the few steps to her door, Maria fumbling with the key and pushing past into the darkened foyer, Eliza back on top of her, suckling on her collarbone.

“Betsey, Betsey, oh my god, _Betsey_ , Eliza, I love you, I love you, I- _oh_. Oh. Eliza, _Eliza!”_

They tumbled to the floor, laughing and moaning and reaching to find zippers and pulling off shoes and tossing bags haphazardly into the corner, locking the door quickly and dragging each other to the couch, collapsing once more into a heap, Eliza kneeling over Maria’s hips, mouth pressing against the soft skin behind her ear.

The room was spinning, the darkness lost in the bright flames roaring around them, and the world narrowed to Eliza’s pale skin and dark hair and bottomless eyes and her complete and utter perfection and the cool metal on her finger.

Maria had found heaven.

 

John struggled back into his jeans, trying to ignore the puppy eyes Alex was giving him and failing miserably. Herc was watching with concern. “John, I’m coming with.”

“It’s fine, you should stay and get some sleep, I’ll be home in the morning, probably-.”

“No, I want to come-.”

“That is okay, I want some time with Alexander anyways-.”

“Why can’t you just stay, ugh.”

“Laf, you always get Alex all to yourself, and it really isn’t fair-.”

“Alex, can you, like, _move_?”

“No, Herc, I really can’t, because Laf is being a jackass-.”

“Hey, hey, hey, I can go alone-.”

“Non, you are very small.”

“Excuse me, Laf, I was on the-.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, football team, we know.”

“I mean, I didn’t _want_ to be, but I was on varsity, for yo-.”

“John, you’re standing on my shirt-.”

“Alexander, _please_ , I just want to kiss you again-.”

“I want to sleep.”

“You don’t sleep- ever. Why now?”

“Herc, my sleep schedule might be nonexistent, but that doesn’t mean that I am incapable of rest, so you can stick your attitude up your-.”

“I’m leaving now, if you’re coming, hurry the fuck up.” John waved and closed the bedroom door with finality, ignoring Herc’s pitiful _“Hey!”_ and making for the front door.

 

Peggy was standing resolutely over his body, shards of vase and a little blood splattered around her. She stood, straight backed, hands on her hips, with a strength more often seen in Angelica than Peggy. She had called John, the first person she knew would react rationally. And he had. Obviously, he was a little concerned and a little surprised, but he hadn’t exploded into a ball of rage or fear after she told him. Unlike a certain sister.

He was coming soon.

Peggy’s hands were shaking ever so slightly, but she kept her eyes trained on the back of Lee’s head.

What would have happened had she not literally whacked him with a porcelain vase? What could have gone down in that apartment? Murder? Rape? Peggy shuddered a little and looked up at the ceiling to clear her head.

None of those things had happened.

Instead, Charles fucking Lee was sprawled, unconscious, in the foyer of the Schuyler sisters’ apartment.

 _God fucking dammit_.

A knock on the door.

“It’s unlocked. If you’re John. If you’re not, fuck off.”

“What if you’re a Hercules?”

Peggy laughed. “Let yourself in, assholes.” The door swung open.

“Good God, Peggy,” Herc breathed, passing John from where he stood in the doorway, mouth open.

“Yeah…” she trailed off, wringing her hands in her shirt.

 

James was asleep. Not only was he asleep, but he was asleep on Thomas. Thomas was not handling it particularly well. His heart was hammering and he was sitting as still as possible to avoid waking James.

God, he was beautiful. Chest rising ever so slightly with every breath, thick lashes down and strong legs curled tight against his stomach.

Thomas was lowering himself deeper into his rabbit hole with every lingering glance, with every stray thought. He squeezed his eyes closed for a moment. Even the explosive Alexander Hamilton paled in comparison to the quiet brilliance of James Madison.

What was there to do?

He was, undeniably, crushing on a taken man and falling in love with a man who hardly seemed real.

 _Fuck_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vague sexytimes™ + peggy the badass and gloriously confused jeffmads
> 
> i think y'all are going to hate me for the next chapter tbh


	26. And

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp 
> 
> prepare yourself

Herc was hung up at the police station with Peggy, arguing away that Lee deserved the mild concussion she had given him, and Laf had a job interview downtown, which left Alex and John alone for their shift at Theodosia’s.

Alex tucked his arm around John’s waist, leaned into his side, surrounded himself in the scent of John- beeswax and paint and dewy cologne and something so very _John_ that Alex couldn’t quite name.

The city was holding its breath and Alex didn’t know why. New York’s heartbeat, its rhythm and pulse, had slowed and died. Every alley posed a threat, every passing car, every startling noise. The city was crouched, lying in wait, and Alex could feel it. What did it anticipate?

The sun had just barely cleared the horizon, bathing the streets in a hazy, languid pink. John was illuminated in a gold that matched his eyes, popping the freckles and making his curls glow. Alex huffed into his sweater, glaring out at the breeze.

John rubbed his hand up and down Alex’s side, tracing imaginary sketches into the fabric and raising tiny goosebumps along the skin beneath, but Alex could almost picture him there with another man, tucked beneath a different arm and smelling a different scent.

Theodosia’s was darkened, but John flicked on every single light as soon as Alex unlocked the door, muttering something about being up all night and how bad Herc must be faring.

“Babe, I’ll handle it. You sleep.”

“That’s a terrible idea,” John yawned. “I don’t trust you at the register.”

“How rude. Go to the back room before I take the couch instead,” Alexander insisted, nudging John towards the back room. John shook his head, but his arguments were feeble in the face of Alexander Hamilton and the looming cloud of sleep.

Alex watched him retreat to the velvet sofa, smiling a little and checking the fridge for the baked goods Theo had whipped up the night before, fumbling with the oven.

“Press _bake_ , babe. Then set the heat,” John called.

How did he know these things? Alex shook his head, shouted his thanks, and diverted his attention to the series of buttons at the top. This was harder than it ever should be.

 

“I cannot, cannot, absolutely _cannot_ believe you, Margarita Schuyler.”

Peggy shrugged. “Whoops.”

Angelica sighed again, disappointment poorly masking pride. “Good hit, though.”

They shared a grin and a candid high-five. Angie leaned back into the uncomfortable plastic chair, watching the officer at the front desk fight sleep (unsuccessfully). Peggy kicked her feet up into her sister’s lap, and for once, Angie didn’t shove them away.

No one had heard from Eliza or Maria yet, which lead Angie to believe that their date had gone _well_.

She’d burst into the police station at about five in the morning, looking positively murderous and ready to pull every card she had to get Peggy home.

Lee was awake now, livid and still incredibly stupid. He’d spilled almost everything about the events leading up to his random appearance at the Schuyler apartment.

Angie still felt like she might rip his limbs from his body and feed them to a hungry alligator, but things were balancing out and calming down. Herc had taken a shot with the officers, letting Angelica rest for a moment before she launched back into the frenzied debate she had running.

God, what a wonderful day.

 

The glitz and glam of Manhattan was really starting to hit them. Laf knew the classic chic of France like the back of their hand, but the shimmering, come-and-go fashion of New York was like a rough ocean, tossing and turning and constantly arguing with itself on the way to go.

They wiped their sweaty palms against the leg of their jeans, part of them wishing they had chosen the maroon skater skirt over the tight denim. Manhattan was buzzing around them, the skyscrapers looming high overhead.

A make or break on their career? No big deal. Peggy knocking out Charles Lee? No big deal. Manhattan? No big deal. Thousands of miles away from France, from home? No big deal. Far away from John and Herc and Alex?

Big deal. They wished that their boyfriends were there, there to walk them to the tall glass doors. There to give them a hug and a kiss and reassuring smile, a firm grip on their heart to keep them anchored in the swirling, swirling sea.

_Just an hour. An hour to change your life, and hour to change the world, just a little bit._

 

A cup of coffee sounded just right. A little bit of caffeine, a little bit of sweetness, a little zap of energy. James had caught a cold as the fall rolled in, leaving him mumbling curses beneath his breath and doing his classwork beneath a mountain of tissues.

“James, do you want a coffee or something?”

“I want to go to Theodosia’s but I can’t fucking move.”

Thomas laughed. “Hey, hey, hey, I can grab one for you.”

James shot straight up in bed, covers falling away as he met Thomas’ eyes and sent flutters through his heart.

“Really?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“Thomas Jefferson, I could marry you.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, James,” Thomas breathed, trying to sound casual and failing miserably. His stomach was churning pleasantly at the way James’ eyes widened and his cheeks flushed crimson in the sunlight.

“Haha, go fuck yourself.”

“Get some sleep, Jemmy.”

“Jemmy?”

Thomas inhaled. “Do you… do you mind? If I- I mean- I don’t want to-.”

“Thomas, Thomas, I don’t mind.”

A quiet grin and a wink and Thomas felt like he could fall off of a fucking cliff.

 

James felt like he was walking a tightrope. Was it obvious that he was flirting? Was Thomas put off by it? Did the nickname mean anything?

God, his heart felt nearly too large for his body.

And his stupid cold was not helping at all.

 

He hadn’t murdered any customers yet. Was that a good thing? John would be proud.

Alex wiped a drop of caramel from his forehead and wondered how Laf was faring and whether Herc had fallen asleep at all.

 

Herc had indeed fallen asleep. He was napping with his head in Peggy’s lap and dreaming about a quiet afternoon by the seaside with Alexander.

 

Maria was warm against Eliza’s back. The gray morning light was filtering in and shattering their peaceful hours of sleep.

A shaky breath. A tiny laugh. A grin. A need to jump up and dance around the room because Maria Lewis was going to be her _wife_ , goddammit.

Elizabeth Schuyler-Lewis? Lewis-Schuyler?

The giddiness was rising steadily in her throat until it threatened to overflow.

 

His scarf was tossed back against the biting breeze, glasses slipping down his nose and hands tucked deep into his pockets. Thomas grinned up at the low hanging clouds, relishing the drops of sun that fell down through the breaks in the sky.

The bell over the door jingled as Thomas walked in. One man sat in the corner, headphones in as he packed up his laptop bag. A slow morning, apparently.

“Hi, Thomas.”

He turned. Alexander was perched on a stool, scribbling in a notebook. “Hey, Alex.”

“What can I get you?” He dropped down from the stool and stood poised at the register, lopsided grin on his face.

Thomas ran a hand over his hair. “One latte… and a black coffee? Yeah, black.”

“Ooh, who’s the second coffee for? Small, medium, or large?”

“Large.”

Alex began to punch in the order.

“And it’s for James, my roommate. He’s sick.”

“Oh, the guy who was here with you when we met? Are you sure you aren’t dating?”

Thomas spluttered. “No, no, we aren’t.”

A strange expression crossed Alex’s face. He turned on the coffee grinder and peeked into the back room. At Thomas’s confused expression, he grinned again. “John’s asleep back there.”

“Oh ho, one of the boyfriends?”

“Partners. Laf’s non-binary.”

“Oops, sorry.”

“Are you sure James didn’t want milk or something? He doesn’t seem like the black coffee kinda guy.” Alex was busying himself with something in the fridge.

“Yeah, I know. Strange, isn’t it? I feel like you can tell what kind of coffee people like just by looking at them.”

“Really? What kind of coffee do I like?”

“Black, silly. You ordered that at the place we stopped at a week ago.” Thomas leaned against the counter and looked over the pastries in the display case beside him. The blueberry muffins did look delicious…

“How do you remember that?”

“I just do.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure.”

The man with the laptop bag left the shop with a jingle of a bell, leaving Thomas alone on the customer’s side of the counter. Theodosia’s still felt as charming as the first day, smelling like old books and coffee beans and almonds.

Alexander popped back up, grinning yet again, two paper cups in hand. “Here ya go.”

Thomas reached for the cups, a thank you on his lips, when their fingers touched.

And stayed.

And their eyes met.

And Alexander licked his lips.

And an alarm went off in Thomas’ mind.

And they were gravitating towards each other in a terrifying way.

And the room felt a little too hot and a little too cold and his scarf felt a little too rough and a little too soft and Alexander’s lips felt amazing but so, so wrong.

And there was a clatter.

And there was air again, because they had jerked away from each other, aghast.

And John stood in the doorway, the sleep fading fast from his face as he realized that he was awake and it wasn’t yet another dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	27. Idk Pt. this should have been in the last chapter but i really wanted to just leave the smiley face so

read the title for an explanation ^

 

i promise that it will be fixed btw

 

ok so here are the questions that go with the last chapter!!!

 

from PluviaphiliaProductions:

 

q: favorite mythological creature?

a: i am partial to the griffin but mermaids are fucking awesome so 

 

q: favorite subject in school?

a: history history any sort of history class or social studies i love them all uGH

 

q: best subject in school?

a: foreign language tends to go pretty well for me. once you know two, three is easier or smthn idk

 

q: what is your opinion on dragons?

a: dragons = _yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss_

 

tysm for the questions!! sorry it took be for-fucking-ever to get to these 

 

here are some more from Dystopian_Daydream!

 

q: do you have friends you've met on the web?

a: just a few! i'm definitely more of a face-to-face person but hmu on tumblr if you wanna chat bc i like humans (shameless self promo)

 

q: doesn't high school suck?

a: yep. i can feel the sleep inching slowly away from me like its a buoy on the sea, tossed by the waves of homework and coffee

 

q: have you ever seen hamilton?

a: nooooo *cri*

 

i mean do bootlegs count?

 

q: who are your favorite youtubers irl?

a: MacDoesIt, MilesChronicles, tonnnnnnnnnns of art channels, and jenna marbles bc why ever not

 

q: what sports do you play?

a: wut r sports

 

haha i row and experiment with basketball but i'm 

 

not good?? (dammit universe y u gotta play me like this)

 

q: can you overdose on espresso?

a: hopefully not but... i've seen some things in the more secluded bathrooms that make me suspect (our school has a goddamn coffee shop which does not help the hyper-but-exhausted mindset)

 

tysm for the questions!

 

anyway <3 yall thanks for sticking around through this mess

 

-rosy 

 

 


	28. The World Was Spinning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

“John, John, listen to me, _please_ , I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it shouldn’t have happened, _I’m sorry_ _-,_ ” Alex called. His feet slipped against the pavement, squinting in desperation and trying to ignore the drizzle against his bare arms. Curls disappeared between other heads, freckles faded into less interesting skins.

The sky was falling, falling, falling, closing in, coming in closer.  

Thomas was behind him, yelling something too, and the world spun to a stop.

 

“Betsy. Betsy, are you awake?” Maria’s head felt heavy with the noise of rain and the feeling of soft skin against her own and sleep drifting from her grasp.

“I am now.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to-.”

“No, not because of you.” Eliza twisted back so that she was facing Maria, and her heart quivered at the way Eliza’s eyelashes fluttered in an attempt to adapt to the gray light. “Something felt weird.”

“What does that mean?” Maria laughed, sitting up and drawing her _fiancé_ closer to her chest.

“I don’t even know,” Eliza sighed. Her hands snuck around Maria’s waist and slid lower, a glimmer in her eyes that made the whole room tumble.

“Come on; let’s get breakfast.”

 

Peggy practically waltzed out of the police station, grinning up at the rain. “I told you I’d get away with it.”

Angelica grumbled and leaned into Herc’s side. “Shut the fuck up, Margarita. I got no sleep last night.”

A shrug. Herc laughed, the rain trickling down his face and washing away the too-clean scent of the station. He knew he’d look back and laugh. “Honestly, Pegs, you may have just stolen the title from Angie.”

“Title of what?”

“Most Badass Schuyler Sister.”

“Oh, okay, now we’re in a fight,” Angie yelled. Peggy lost it, seeming to find every little thing hilarious.

Herc smiled and shook his head, reveling in the rain.

 

Up the stairs. Open the door. Take a left. Down the hall. Find the door. Find the keys. Push them in. Turn the knob. Slam the door. Twist the lock. Done.

John fell against the closed door and slid to the ground. He wished that he imagined it. He wished that it was a dream. But John knew the difference between his mind and reality.

This was reality.

He took a deep breath, pushed himself up off the ground, stumbled and steadied himself with the wall. Walk. Don’t fall. Left. Into the living room. Look out the window. Wonder if Alex is out there. No. To the couch. Fall before you make it there.

The world was spinning. The rain was gone and John wanted it back. The world was spinning.

Spinning.

Spinning, spinning, spinning.

The door clicked open.

_Don’t let it be Alex._

“Mm’kay, thanks Angie. See you later.” A soft click, and the door was closed.

John tried to straighten up, stand up, get himself together for Herc.

It didn’t happen.

The world was still spinning.

“John? John, babe, are you okay?”

A pair of hands on his waist, a shoulder against his forehead. The scent of Herc, the feeling of his sweater. John choked on a sob.

“Is Alex here? I swear, if it was your-.”

John shook his head. “Alex isn’t- he isn’t here. And it wasn’t- you know.”

Herc pulled back a little, searching John’s face. His eyes seemed to be the only steady thing in the room.

The world was spinning.

“Is Alex okay? John, John, please tell me he’s-.”

“Alex,” John snapped, “is fucking _fine_. That’s the problem. He’s fine without us.” He fell back against the couch again and ran his hands roughly through his hair, tugging the ponytail out and raking his nails over his scalp.

Herc’s eyes were wide. He sank to the floor. “John. John, what do you mean? Jack-.”

_“Don’t call me that!”_

“Oh god, babe, I’m sorry, I just don’t-.”

John laughed scathingly. “Alex kissed Thomas over the counter of Theodosia’s. That’s what I mean. Alex is fucking _fine_.”

Herc sank back onto his heels, hands on John’s knees. “Are you… are you serious?”

 

Their phone was ringing. Laf’s heart leapt. Were they offering them the job already? Were they outright denying them?

Laf had their phone to their ear in record time, not bothering to check the caller ID.

“Oui, hello? This is-.”

“Laf, please, I need you to get home.”

“Alex, mon cher, what is all of this?”

“Laf.” His voice was shaking. “Laf, god, I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Tell them that.”

And the line went dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short and sure not sweet
> 
> ANYWHOOOOO QUESTION TIME!!  
> these are from the fabulous And_Penny
> 
> q: do you like candy? if so, what's your favorite one?  
> a: hell ya i like candy. i am partial to crunch bars but caramel is my weakness
> 
> q: current relationship status?  
> a: i am siiiiiiingle af. i think i'm open to a qpr relationship tho so that may change??? 
> 
> q: have you been in any romantic relationships?  
> a: oof. i dated a guy for about a week, decided he was kinda a dick, and that was that. and then there was this neighbor boy who i had this weird, even-my-parents-thought-we-were-dating-but-we-weren't-officially-and-i-still-dont-know-what-type-of-feelings-those-were, relationship with
> 
> q: are you in a private or public school?  
> a: public
> 
> q: long or short nails?  
> a: in between? 
> 
> q: favorite song/book/movie/tv show genre?  
> a: historical dramas for SURE and my music taste is like... indie pop and broadway
> 
> q: what are your comfort foods?  
> a: mmmmmmmm chocolate coconut chews (i have an addiction) and risengrynsgrot, which is norwegian rice pudding
> 
> q: do you like the beach?  
> a: yessssssssssssss i lived on the northern california shore for four years and the pacific beach is beautiful up there
> 
> q: any tips for de-stressing?   
> a: taking walks and doing something you enjoy for a little bit. breaks are essential and doing things when you know you can do them well is important
> 
> q: visual or preforming arts?  
> a: I CAN'T CHOSE IM A THEATER KID WHO DRAWS SHIT HOW DO I DECIDE
> 
> q: any allergies/dietary restrictions?   
> a: nope. i've gotten pretty lucky on that front.
> 
> yay and thank you so much for the great questions!
> 
> ok i have a question for yall: 
> 
> theatre or theater? 
> 
> ok that's it have a great day!


	29. Congratulations 2.0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoop hello i updated

Angelica’s hands were shaking.

This was the room- she was sure of it. She’d only been there once before to visit Thomas at her father’s request and yet she knew the way up the stairs and down the hall and to the room with the Virginia flag on the door.

She took a steadying breath and knocked.

A sigh. The sound of someone standing, walking to the door, fumbling with the lock, and the click as the knob turned.

Not James, not Thomas, but Alexander. She smiled. Of course he was there.

 “Angelica!” He grinned, beckoned her inside, pretending that his excitement was real.

She couldn’t help the smallest of smiles. A part of her heart would always be partial to Alex and his wide brown eyes. “Alexander.” And she pushed him back into the room, letting him fall to the couch in shock as she slammed the door behind herself.

In her peripheral, she could she Thomas and James standing in the tiny kitchen but she didn’t care.

“I don’t think you need me to tell you that you fucked up, but _my god_ Alexander. What did you think would happen? What went through your head? You may be brilliant, but you may be the stupidest person I know.”

“Angelica, I-.”

“I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to know what you thought, because I’m pretty sure that it was nothing, nothing at all.”

“Angie, please just let me-.”

“No, you can explain yourself to your partners.” Her head was spinning, narrowed in on his plain nervousness. The Angelica within her mind smiled grimly, relishing the power she wielded. “I swear, Alexander, you might as well take the prize for the worst decisions, because not only have you hurt three wonderful people, you hurt yourself and you hurt Thomas and James and my sisters and Maria and, goddamn it, you’ve hurt _me_.”

His eyes were wet, but she didn’t care, because her anger dry and cold and calculating. “Angie, I didn’t-.”

“How many times do I have to say it? Shut _up_ and let me talk. Thomas, stop staring, you look like a fish.” She tightened her fists as she paced a path in the rug. “I don’t think you need to think very hard to imagine how you hurt John. You were the first person he trusted; the first person he loved; the first person who he _knew_ loved him back. I don’t let you guys listen to everything I record, by the way. There’s things you don’t know about, things I don’t know about, hell, even things _John_ doesn’t know about. You don’t get it, do you? You don’t see the things I see, and you sure as shit don’t see the stuff he sees in his mind.”

He was crying now, clearly wanting to break their eye contact but not daring to. She could see the way Thomas and James had sunk into each other, questions on their tongues.

“And _Laf_. I never here a single complaint from Laf, but you _know_ that things haven’t been easy for them. Alex, you were the first person they met in America. The first person who accepted them for who they are and for who they wanted to be. I watched you two fall in love and yet you failed to notice the times when they felt like they didn’t belong in their body and the times people weren’t as kind to them as you have been. So.”

She took a deep breath, looked over her shoulder to see the look on Alexander’s face. Wished she had been prepared for the heartbreak and the pain.

“You know how Herc doesn’t talk about his mother? It’s because she isn’t around anymore and neither are his siblings. But you never noticed, never bothered to peel back the layers and ask. You never asked about his family and you never asked why he gets nervous in the driver’s seat and he did it anyway because he loves you all _so goddamn much_.”

She stopped, breathing heavily, trying to block out the twin stare from the kitchen and the broken one from behind her.

“I think I’ve said enough. I hope you won’t be so fucking clueless next time.”

Angelica tossed her hair over her shoulder, threw a glare back at Thomas and James. Knew the way she walked to the door was commanding.

“Angelica, I’m sorry, it was an accident, it wasn’t supposed to happen!”

She froze, fingers pressed to the cold knob.

“An accident.”

“Yeah.” He was breathing heavily, as if he was searching for her forgiveness within her pause.

Angelica took a shaky breath. “That wasn’t an accident. A kiss is never an accident, and you knew that and yet…”

She turned. Faced him, though it hurt. Twisted her hands into fists again. Looked down at the floor.

“My accident was you, Alexander. I swear, the night we met, something changed. I thought I loved you. I thought I loved you for years and that was my accident. My accident was thinking it wasn’t real, thinking it was better to let myself be consumed with it then break Eliza’s heart by taking you for myself.

“Meeting you wasn’t an accident. You falling in love with John and Laf and Herc wasn’t an accident. Eliza breaking up with you wasn’t an accident because you both had yet to find the right people. But me? I will _never_ be satisfied with anybody. My accident was letting myself think that my love for you wasn’t real because of the label I’d given myself.

“So. Yeah, we make mistakes and accidents happen, but you throwing away the love I sacrificed for you because you couldn’t be bothered with it was no accident.”

She realized that they were all watching her and suddenly the attention was too much, too close and too hot and too revealing.

“Fix it, Alexander, because hurting people you love is never a good plan.”

And she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plot development background info and PASSION


	30. A Storm of Texts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alexander does notttttttt use punctuation when he texts so be warned

The first day was hard.

Herc woke up with only two people in the bed. He stared at the ceiling for a while, hand stretching to the cold part of the sheets where Alexander usually slept. He bit his lip and twisted over so that he was facing John.

He pretended to sleep.

John forgot himself and made more eggs than necessary for three people. He let the extras sit in the pan for a while before scrubbing them down with vigor until his fingertips with slightly scratched and smarting and the sponge was falling apart.

He didn’t mind the sting.

Laf answered a call from a sponsor. It went okay, but it was strange not to have Alexander’s input. They hung up after half an hour and climbed the fire escape to the roof.

For once, the heights didn’t make them queasy.

They fell asleep, tangled in a pile on the couch, steadily ignoring Alexander’s unopened laptop and his unused coffee mug.

 

Angelica slammed the door shut behind herself, dropping against the wood after it closed. Eliza glanced up from her spot on the couch. Angie was nearly panting.

“Angie? I know you’re there.”

“Can’t talk.”

Eliza narrowed her eyes. “Police station called. Wanted to confirm that we were pressing charges.”

“Tell them that they can fuck off. Of course we are.”

“I did. I mean, not that exact wording, but…” Eliza sighed and pushed herself up off of the sofa and dragged Angie out of the foyer. Pulled her to the couch, dropped down beside her and steeled herself.

“You have something to tell me.”

“Um, yeah.”

“Just spill.”

A slow breath. “I proposed to Maria.”

Angie leapt to her feet. “Elizabeth fucking Schuyler!”

 

The second day wasn’t any better.

Laf cried into John’s shoulder.

Alexander wore a path through Thomas and James’ dorm room, muttering to himself and battling tears. His texts went unanswered, Thomas forgave him, James patted his back hesitantly. He called in to Theodosia’s and explained that he wouldn’t be coming back to work for a little while. Burr and sighed in the background and Theo had made a sympathetic noise (followed by a short rant about how fucking stupid he was).

He _knew_ that he was an idiot. God, he knew it better than he knew anything.

They didn’t understand what it was like to fall asleep on a foreign couch, wishing he was wrapped up in familiar arms. They didn’t understand the way his heart was ripping with every breath. They didn’t understand the way he missed them, the way he hated himself.

Alexander sat carefully on the edge of James’ bed. He itched for his laptop, bribed Thomas into lending him his. Wrote and wrote and wrote an apology, an explanation. Even gave it an official title, and that said something.

Didn’t do anything with it.

Resolved that he would go to the apartment the next day and apologize.

Alexander knew that John had told them everything. He knew that John understood that Alex had kissed Thomas, not the other way around.

He muffled his sobs in his hand through the night.

 

The third day was the worst for John.

Alexander had been gone for three whole days.

His hands shook a little.

 

Alex<3: john john john pls answer the phone

 

Alex<3: john please let me explain

 

Alex<3: not like theres much to explain I just need to apologize

 

Alex<3: john I love you

 

Alex<3: I love you all so much

 

Alex<3: god I love you

 

Alex<3: I love you in the way that the moon loves the sun- from far away and in awe until we collide and the world goes dark and the only thing that matters is whether they can see the way we love each other and know that it’s a rarity and it’s a phenomenon and it’s a miracle that you could ever ever ever love me

 

Alex<3: I love you the way a fish loves the sea with passion and intense need and a feeling of home and security when im with you and I cant breathe without you here with me and god im sorry because there may be other fish in the sea but theres only one sea for this fish and you and herc and laf are my waves and my horizon line and my steady shore

 

Alex<3: I love you like ink loves paper in the way that it spills and sinks into every crevice and no matter what always makes something beautiful do you remember the way you drew me the morning after we kissed and god I felt like I was flying and like you were the only thing in the world that was holding me up and the way you smiled at me over the top of your sketchbook will always stay imprinted in my mind and the way you slaved over my eyes even though ive never found anything about them particularly interesting and the way you practically shone there in the morning light you were like a star john a beautiful perfect star and god I love you

 

John turned off his phone. Bit his lip. Sank onto the couch with his old sketchbooks and looked through for every sketch of Alexander, trying to remember everything about everything and failing.

Love never turned out well for John Laurens.

 

Mon Amor: laf baby please listen to me please

 

Mon Amor: did your meeting go well? im sure you blew them out of the water

 

Mon Amor: god laf I don’t think you understand the way I miss you right now

 

Mon Amor: do you remember when we met and I cursed in French and you practically jumped me

 

Mon Amor: do you remember the time we pulled an all nightery together watching the office and cried into each other because we laughed so hard

 

Mon Amor: do you remember the first time you posted a video and you were so scared and I told you everything was going to be ok and we went to the café down the street and bought muffins and came back and you had likes already and you were so happy

 

Mon Amor: do you remember the first time we kissed and it felt like we were dancing on starlight and you smelled amazing by the way and I will never never never forget the way you pulled back for a moment and held my face there and you looked at me with those fucking gorgeous eyes of yours and told me I looked like a greek god there in the Schuylers living room with herc and john right there on the couch and I told you that I could have mistaken you for one yourself and you laughed and kissed me again and I thought I might melt into the ground

 

Mon Amor: I will always remember that no matter what happens because I love you so much and im so so sorry

 

Laf typed out replies and never sent them. They wanted to say that they remembered, that they remembered the way Alexander looked framed in sunlight with his fingers around a coffee mug and a complaint posed on his tongue.

But they couldn’t.

 

Herc lay away at night, the messages playing over and over in his brain. They flashed bright across his eyelids and they danced tantalizingly through his head. He turned over and drew closer to John and Laf.

 

hamham: herculesssssssssssssssssssssss please let me talk to you please

 

hamham: herc baby i want to wake up next to you someday and kiss your temple and try to bribe you to go wake up our kid because the room is cold and I don’t like the cold

 

hamham: I want to let you use me as a mannequin when you need to and I want to grumble about you sticking pins in unsavory places and I want to hear you laugh

 

hamham: I want to help you destroy the kitchen and I want to climb on your back and run from john and laf when they get mad at us for getting flour on the ceiling or some shit

 

hamham: I want to feel all your fabrics and sit next to you when your stuff goes down the runway and I want to be there when they say that some celebrity wore one of your dresses to the grammys

 

hamham: I want to drag you to the movie theatre at midnight and eat popcorn and make out the whole time and ignore the other people they because they don’t matter and the only thing that I care about is getting every last bit of salt and butter off of your lips

 

hamham: I want to feel you here next to me and I want to hear you say that you love me and god im an idiot im an idiot herc because I love you too much to realize it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy how are you guys doing? as you can see, i enjoy angst
> 
> anyway szin posted Laurens' Interlude and i currently am on the list for a heart transplant bc i now have none
> 
> q u e s t i o n t i m e
> 
> from EmgelicaSchuyley:
> 
> q:do you ship jamilams?  
> a:*jenna marbles voice* hell ya
> 
> q: do you like anime?  
> a: ive havent gotten hooked on anything besides hetalia but honestly the anime community is amazing and i love them 
> 
> q: what shows do you like?  
> a: oooooooooooooooo downton abbey, mercy street, victoria, turn, the office, himym, merlin, friends, sherlock, foyle's war... theres a lot lmao
> 
> thanks for the questions and thanks for your lovely comments!!
> 
> From And_Penny:
> 
> q: do you, by any chance, watch turn? if so, have you seen the new season yet?  
> a: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS and no so no spoilers ahgh
> 
> q: where do you want to live when youre older?  
> a: new york, be it NYC or upstate. i just love it so much
> 
> q: favorite fic and/or author?  
> a: holy shit how do i choose
> 
> i think that the first fic i got super invested in was Provoke Outrage by Daisy_Rivers. I swear, that fic deserves to be a book. it is amazing in every way and godddddddddddddddddd i love it. lately, i've been obsessing over Hurricane by thelibertybehinddeliburration because THATS SOME GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE. (p.s. theres an amazing older fic called Stage Lights Are Blaring by Ravenesta that i lowkey want to kiss go read it asap)
> 
> honestly, though, theres hardly ever a fic i come across that i don't want to marry. this fandom is blessed with amazing writers. i could go on and on and on and on 
> 
> also Scorpius Malfoy and the Forbidden Flower is beautiful
> 
> q: how many different places have you lived in?   
> a: three
> 
> q: what kind of phone do you have?  
> a: iPhone 6 fuck yeah
> 
> q: birthday?  
> a: late august
> 
> q: ethnicity?  
> a: v european
> 
> q: whats your favorite board game?  
> a: this ancient gem called Mad Magazine
> 
> a: favorite card game?  
> a: B.S.
> 
> q: have you ever dyed your hair? if so, what color?  
> a: i have notttttt but if i did, i'd probably do purple
> 
> q: what classes are you taking this year?  
> a: the four regulars and then web page design and ASL
> 
> q: have you heard of Button Poetry and would you ever consider attending/performing?  
> a: i hadn't until i googled it a minute ago yolo and YES THIS LOOKS AMAZING GOSH
> 
> q: would you do me the honors of being my queerplatonic long-distance internet girlfriend?   
> a: it would be my pleasure *extreme fist pump*
> 
> anywayyyyyyyy love you all!!


	31. Idk Pt. Happy Birthday

hello

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN LAURENS WE LOVE YOU

 

anyway i'm here to give ya'll an update.

 

1\. i am so sorry that i didn't update last week ahhhhh. i hurt my wrist and typing has been hard AND THIS BRACE IS FUCKING HELL I TELL U IT'S HELL. also i have no idea how to wrap up this story

2\. indeed, ragtfy is coming to an end. there will be a few more chapters but i hope to have it done by thanksgiving so i can focus on ivy

3\. i will still be here on ao3, of course, but there may be a slight hiatus bc of le wrist and writers block

4\. IT'S BEEN A YEAR OF HAMILTON!!!!!!!!!! it's been a year to the day since i first listened to satisfied and fell into a deep dark hamiltrashcan. coincidental, huh? bc it's my favorite character's birthday and all lol

5\. high school has been amazing, actually, but its definitely busy af. this may put a damper on the frequency of updates. 

6\. i really want to keep this au alive. i completely slipped off of the youtube au in this second installment (ugh), but i want to continue posting one shots about the different relationships and characters and also videos and livestreams. 

7\. god, it's going to be hard to let go. i think that every fic writer understands how hard it is to end a fic. i've grown so attached to these characters and story lines and god, even the apartments (i have maps of those if you want them on tumblr lmao).

8\. i feel like i know you all down in the comment section and, jesus, i'm going to miss these readers HOLY SHIT THIS WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EMOTIONAL BUT HERE WE ARE ANYWAY

 

ahhh i just wanted to let you guys know what's happening with me and this story and everything. i love you all so much and i hope you stick around for the end of this roller coaster and ivy

i promise the next chapter is in the works hnnngghhhh 

 

<3 from rosy and to yall and john laurens my baby

 


	32. Not Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm aliveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
> 
> this is short but at least it exists

“I feel like we should _do something_.” Maria took an angry sip of her hot chocolate. Eliza sighed. Maria had been with Herc earlier in the afternoon and had seen the way he kept his eyes down. She had seen the way he leapt at every buzz of his phone. The way he searched the streets for a certain face.

“What is there to do?” Eliza wrapped her arm around her _fiancé’s_ waist. Maria inhaled a little in a moment of joy. They were going to get married. White dresses and colorful bouquets and silver rings and everything. She could scream.

“I don’t know, but it’s killing me. I kinda want to punch Alex, though.”

“Don’t we all.”

“I just… God, isn’t it John’s birthday on Saturday?”

Eliza paled. “Fuck, you’re right.”

“Alex isn’t gonna want to miss that.”

“And… and John’ll be completely torn up. Jesus Christ, Maria, are we the only stable couple around here?” Eliza turned in the street and clasped Maria’s hands tightly. “I mean, we _are_ stable, right?”

“Of course we are.”

Eliza inhaled sharply. “I think I see him.”

“Alexander?”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s go, then. I don’t want to talk to him now.”

“I am perfectly happy to leave that to Angie.”

Maria sighed.

 

Thomas sat lightly on the edge of his bed. Alexander was gone, off somewhere with a tight-lipped frown across his face and his eyes lowered.

He’d apologized. He’d apologized over and over and over again, not even trying to explain, just apologizing.

And Thomas forgave him. He forgave him because it wasn’t just Alexander. He should have said no. No, no, no, no, no.

No, because Alexander loved three other people.

No, because Thomas loved James.

No, because it wasn’t right.

No, because the kiss had felt like an intrusion and a lie.

No, because James was right there. James was dozing on the bed, just feet away, mouth just slightly open and fingers twisted in the bed sheets.

God, how was he supposed to do this? How was Thomas supposed to simply coexist with a beautiful, smart, and caring man? How was he supposed to breathe the same air that James touched, walk the same ground, see the same view from the same window?

Jesus.

Thomas rubbed his hands across his face and sighed.

He needed coffee.

 

John was on his shift again.

Alexander had the sense not to come.

Theodosia’s seemed darker and quieter without Alex there. No mindless chatter from behind the counter and no sidelong glances and brushed fingers. Just John and the hum of the customers and the storm in his head.

They had gone back. Part of John had thought that he’d spend the rest of his life holed up in their apartment with wet eyes and shaky hands. Laf was working hard with his new sponsor and Herc had fired up his machine again, filling the apartment with a familiar hum.

And John went to class. He went to class and studied and went to Theodosia’s and slept in the arms of his partners.

But three wasn’t four and it never would be.

He missed Alexander with all of his heart and he hated it. Hated the way he wanted him and needed him. It was weak and it was selfish. o

John shook his head and rung up another latte.

The door dinged open and John glanced up. Looked right back down.

Fuck.

 _Of course_ it was Thomas.

John knew it wasn’t Thomas’ fault. He had seen the way that Alex had pulled him over the counter, seen the way he jerked back as if he’d been burned.

But he didn’t really want to talk to him. It wasn’t unreasonable- not exactly.

“Hi, John.”

“Thomas.”

He scuffs his shoe lightly against the floor.

“Look, can we… can we talk?” Thomas’ voice was unsure and shaky.

John sucked in a breath. “Sure.”

 

He’d spent the past two days building up enough courage to talk to John.

Alex rubbed at his eyes and sighed.

Sleeping was hard after a year of nights wrapped in strong arms.

It was John he felt the worst about. John, his first love. They’d always been special- their souls and hearts molded perfectly to fit one another. Alex had spent more early mornings with John than he could count, had written to many pages of adoration, had spent too many hours remembering the way John had looked that first morning, staring up at him from the bed as he got coffee.

But now, walking slowly down the road, ignoring the bustle of New York City studiously, he felt all his bravery and bravado slipping away.

Because he was weak.

He was weak for John’s voice, for the small smile the crossed Laf’s face when they heard someone speak French, for the way Herc’s hands felt on his waist- silent and strong and sure.

The brick was rough against his fingertips, but Alex kept trailing his hands over the walls because it kept him grounded.

Theodosia’s was just around the corner.

 

John looked different.

Thomas saw it as soon as they made eye contact over the counter.

His eyes were the most noticeable. The gold was dull and the crease between his brows was deeper. His movements seemed lackluster and he bit his lip constantly, staining it crimson.

Thomas hopped onto a stool.

“I want to apologize.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“I do.”

The room seemed to still even with the hodge-podge of customers.

Thomas tapped his fingers against the counter and sighed. “I think I led him on a little. I should’ve stopped it. I’ve been so caught up in Ja… stuff… that I didn’t notice it. And I should never have kissed him.”

“Thomas,” John sighed, “it’s not your fault.”

“Please, John. I feel like shit.”

“Because of me or because of James?”

Thomas froze. “What… what about James?”

John laughed. “You look at him the way Alexander looks at Laf.”

“He’s amazing, John. It’s so hard to live with him and not… and not wake up with him or, like, kiss him goodbye.”

“I think Herc can relate.”

“He’s the tailor, right?”

“Yeah.”

Thomas looked back down at his fingers, still drumming silently. “John, please talk to him. He’s so… so broken.”

John opened his mouth, a strange look in his eyes.

“No, let me talk. He wakes up early; goes to sleep late. I can hear him at night when he cries. He looks out the window like he’s looking for you. He can’t look me in the eye and he won’t eat. John, I’m scared for him. I don’t think he’s gone to class since we… since you…”

“We haven’t actually broken up, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“Do you, um, want to?”

John closed his eyes and pressed his lips tight. Thomas nodded like he understood.

He didn’t. He didn’t understand it at all.

 

John’s head was spinning a little.

Not good, not good, not good, not good.

And when he checked the headlines this morning, his name was in them. Angelica was moving the case forward.

But, God, the world was spinning.

 

Alex felt his heart jump as the door dinged.

It skyrocketed when he saw John and Thomas at the counter.

Except something was wrong.

Thomas had his hand out, gentle on John’s arm, concern lining every angle of his body. And John was tense, eyes closed tight and lips pressed thin.

_Not good, not good, not good, not good._

The floor moved quickly beneath him. Thomas’ jacket was soft as he pushed him away. The counter was cold against his stomach as he stretched over it to reach John’s hands. His stomach twisted as John shot backward.

They stood, a triangle, tense and broken.

Theodosia’s felt tiny against his whirring mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy sHIT THIS WEEK WAS INSANE
> 
> i need to vent so hello
> 
> first of all, i met a girl. secondly, i met a guy. had my first kiss (via said girl), might be falling for said boy. had our shows (fuck ya baby). talked with said guy for forever at the party. i feel like i've known him for years and he listens to me and he's interesting and smart and dare i say handsome. i don't think i feel attraction to him but dAMN HE'S AMAZING and for some reason i woke up sad bc he wasn't there with me wtf
> 
> so
> 
> theres that pls help
> 
> anyway questions lmao THESE ARE FROM AND_PENNY
> 
> q: how much asl do you know?  
> a: ehhhhhhhhhh basic vocab and conversational shit plus curse words (via an edgy senior)
> 
> q: why do you only have six classes?  
> a: to make my life easier tbh (actually idk... no homeroom or anything)
> 
> q: what's your aesthetic?  
> a: perpetually hungry theatre kid who tries to hard to be artsy
> 
> q: favorite smells?  
> a: buttermilk and buttered bread (lots of butter lmao)
> 
> q: favorite sounds?  
> a: mmmmmmmmmmm idk if this is a noise really but the way sound moves through headphones and then heavy rain
> 
> q: how would you describe your clothing style?  
> a: tumblr af (i like cable knit sweaters, crop tops, leggings, and skirts too much)
> 
> q: do you like to climb trees?  
> a: eughhhghg i don't like heights so not really
> 
> q: star sign, moon sign, and zodiac animal?  
> a: virgo, idk man, and the goat
> 
> q: which element (western or chinese) do you consider yourself?  
> a: earth, for sure
> 
> ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i love you all stay strong and stay tuned
> 
> <3 rosy


	33. Dusty Sunlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng tbh i really dislike this chapter but oh well

“John, I-.”

“Alexander, please.” He gripped the edge of the counter until his knuckles were white and his freckles stood dark and gray. Thomas stepped back.

John couldn’t really _think_. He wanted Herc there- Herc, who was strong and steady and better at this sort of thing. Miles better. Was there a way to text him sneakily? Was he still at the apartment?

His head was still spinning.

Because Alex was there now. Alexander was standing just beyond the counter, eyes wide and wet and dark, bottom lip raw from nervous bites, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet. Standing away from Thomas. Pointedly keeping his eyes on John.

God, the heat of his gaze wasn’t helping.

_Come on, John. Stand up._

So he did. He straightened his back, tipping his chin, crossed his arms.

“I want to know what you have to say for yourself.”

Alexander glanced briefly at Thomas and back at John. “I… don’t have anything to say.”

John raised his eyebrows. Thomas coughed.

“It’s not Thomas’s fault.”

“I know.”

“It was my fault. Because I was stupid and rash and let myself get carried away.”

John dug his fingernails into his arm and swallowed back a biting reply. Or a sob. He couldn’t tell. Felt Thomas’s eyes flick onto him for a moment, but the weight of Alexander’s eyes on him blocked it out.

God, those eyes. He remembered the way they looked the first time they’d landed on him- Alex flat on the floor in the doorway to a coffee shop, Laf and Herc just there behind him. John could feel the summer air on the back of his neck, the feeling of a stray curl against his ear. The way his hand, golden and pleasantly cool against his fingers, felt when he reached down to pull him up. And those wide, dark eyes- like coffee grounds.

His heart fluttered the way it did then.

_No._

The bell above the door jingled.

“John, John, my darling John, if you could get me a blueberry muffin, I will- oh.”

Maybe there way a God, for John’s prayers had been answered. Herc, dark and familiar in the doorway. The door swung closed.

John thanked all the spirits above that there weren’t many customers anymore.

A strong hand on his waist brought him back to the coffee shop: Herc beside him, and Thomas and Alexander before him, and his thumping heart.

“Hi, Herc.”

A chaste kiss to John’s temple and a wince from Alexander.

He couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh.

 

Herc felt, undeniably, protective. Protective of his boyfriend, who he could feel shaking a little.

And Alexander, with his wide eyes and his flighty stance and his bitten lips.

Thomas, concerned and confused and ready to melt straight into the floor.

And his own heart, stammering heavily against his chest, because Alex was _right there_ and John was pressing against his side. What was he supposed to say? How was this supposed to work? This felt like some bad climax from a bad movie- this isn’t how it was supposed to work out. It wasn’t supposed to go down in Theodosia’s coffee shop, John in his apron and with a few scattered customers wrapped up in their studies and their headphones, Thomas Jefferson leaning nervously against the counter and Alexander trying not to make eye contact.

God, where was Laf? Last Herc knew of them, they had their tripod set up in their bedroom and a bright array of lipsticks strewn over their bed.

He’d called out that he was going to see John and get a muffin, that he loved them, and that he’d be home at the end of John’s shift.

But now he was here and he wanted them- the third member of their trio, with the (former?) fourth across from them.

Why was it so fucking hard for Herc to understand?

He settled his hand on John’s waist and reached around for his phone.

 

hunkules: babe can u get down to theodosia’s asap

 

laffytaffy: what

 

hunkules: Thomas and alexander are here

 

laffytaffy: shit

 

laffytaffy: is john there?

 

hunkules: yeah

 

hunkules: hi this is john

 

laffytaffy: I’m coming hold your ponies

 

hunkules: horses

 

laffytaffy: oh

 

Herc tucked his phone back in his pocket and cleared his throat. “Hi Thomas.”

“You’re Herc?”

“Yeah.”

John slipped away for a moment to man the register. “Hey Herc, do you want a muffin?” He was clearly trying to break the awkward silence.

“Of course he does, he’s _Herc_ ,” Alex chimed in, a certain fondness in his voice that brought Herc back to the day they met John, in the coffee shop and Laf’s muffin.

_“I’m freaking out,” Herc said, bouncing around Alex’s table._

_“Yeah, I can see,” Alex quipped. “Do you want a muffin? I got it for Laf, but…”_

_“Yes, I want a muffin. Don’t you know me?” Herc snatched it from the plate before Alex could say anything else. He sighed and went back to typing, shaking his head._

John glanced up, pausing halfway through the latte he was making. “You’re not wrong.” His voice was steady, the latte passed over the counter easily, and he floated gracefully back to Herc. He’d never found John more gorgeous than there, caught loosely in the dusty sunlight from the front windows. He seemed to glow, curls soft and nearly frizzy, freckles dark against his skin, lips parted and dark. Was he trying? The way he seemed to move like water- it had to be on purpose.

He smiled down and pressed a soft kiss to John’s lips.

Herc wasn’t immature enough to try and make Alexander jealous, but was it _really_ so wrong to kiss his boyfriend? He smiled despite himself.

His phone buzzed.

 

laffytaffy: I’m about to come in would you stop making out now alex is practically dead

 

hunkules: ugH fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> they were definitely trying to make alex jealous lol
> 
> anyway this came out so cheesy and i kind of hate it but i'm too lazy to rewrite and now i have math homework to do so theres that
> 
> welp questionsssss y'all (from And_Penny)
> 
> q: if you don't mind saying, how was your first kiss?  
> a: surprising, sweet, and assured me that i was v ace. actually, i didn't mind it all (guy's she's so adorable wtf)
> 
> q: what's your dream vacation?  
> a: scotland and norway (bc of the old family sites and shit), but also romania seems so damn cool
> 
> q: do you ever want to get married?  
> a: i don't really know... not really, but i'm open to it- maybe with a life partner
> 
> q: do you want kids?  
> a: yeah, actually! i'd really like to adopt or foster or something- there are so many kids who need homes, and i've never wanted to have biological kids (for a few reasons).
> 
> q: do you have any siblings?  
> a: one little sister... and she's quite enough
> 
> q: are there any places you really want to go see?  
> a: NYC, of course, and i'd love to go to d.c. again. 
> 
> q: what's your favorite holiday?   
> a: christmas... or in my case, jul, but really just the winter holidays
> 
> ahhhhhghghg love ya'll lots and i'll see you next week!!


	34. Silly Kids in Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hngggggggggggngngngngngngngng

 

Laf wasn’t a person who was necessarily interested in holding grudges. They’d never been particularly angry at anybody for very long- how could you be upset and stingy for years at something so trivial in the grand scheme of things?

But this wasn’t trivial. This was John and Herc and _them_ and Alexander. And they didn’t like seeing the people they loved most broken hearted.

Even Alex.

The bell over the door jingled as Laf came in, familiar and reassuring. They pressed the door closed with their back, eyes on the painfully real face of Alexander Hamilton. A man they’d loved with their whole heart.

And Laf still loved him.

Love didn’t fall away that easily.

They met his eyes. That dark chocolate Laf had seen across the airport. That tiny smile: tangible and so, so _there_.

They raised a brow and circled around to the other side of the counter. The few remaining customers seemed to sense the tension in the room and began trickling out.

“Ah, hello! Nice weather, is it not?”

“Laf, please don’t,” John whispered.

Understandable.

Alexander looked down. Fiddled with his shirt. Bit his lip.

Herc cleared his throat.

 

“I don’t want to just stand here.”

Alexander looked up, his eyes zoning in on the expression on Herc’s face. He couldn’t describe it, but he’d seen it before in the face of his mother.

His stomach twisted.

“Yeah.” John’s voice was clear and sharp in the empty café.

What was he supposed to say?

This wasn’t something for Alexander Hamilton. This wasn’t something that could be solved with wit and intellect. This was something meant for Eliza. This was something for emotion and careful steps, not his rash and unfeeling way of running his mouth.

He steeled his jaw. “I’m sorry.”

Thomas coughed and muttered something about going to the restroom, ducking away.

Alex couldn’t tell whether that was a good thing or not.

“I’m sorry too.”

“What?”

John shook his head, curls bouncing. “I’m sorry that it went down like this. We should’ve talked earlier than this.”

“Wait, no, you shouldn’t be sorry-.”

“You’re living at Thomas and James’ place, right?” John’s gold eyes wouldn’t quite meet his. Alexander hated it.

_But Alex had never realized how beautiful his eyes were. Amber and gold, with flecks of warm brown to match his skin. They were rimmed with a thin line the same dark color of his hair, and together they were more perfect than coffee shops and Laf’s highlight._

_John._

God. He just wanted to see those eyes again, those eyes filled with love and passion and intelligence. Those eyes alight with the glow of New York. Those eyes heavy and foggy in the early morning light, inches away, the four of them curled tight together.

Those eyes.

“Yeah… their dorm. They’re madly in love and it’s horrible because neither of them _do_ anything about it.” Alex snorted a little and immediately regretted it. Not the time, not the time.

Theodosia’s felt to small.

He needed to sprint around the block and melt out into the fresh air, turn to liquid over the grid of the city.

But what he really wanted was to go home to their apartment, wanted to fall into their big bed, wanted to smell the cinnamon candles John liked to light in the bedroom. He wanted to bury his fingers in Laf’s hair, wanted to hop onto Herc’s shoulders to change a light bulb.

Alexander wanted _them_. He wanted the love.

God, he’d been stupid.

So fucking stupid.

And he was crying now. Great. Just great.

Except John was there now, drawing him into his arms over the counter, shushing his litany of apologies, rubbing his back slowly. John, always fighting with his heart on his sleeve.

It wasn’t forgiveness. It wasn’t forgiveness at all, but it was comfort in some form. Even if he’d ruined it all, John was still there. He had been from the beginning to the end to wherever they were now.

Alexander didn’t deserve him and he knew it. But did any of them deserve the others? How had they all found each other?

It was insane.

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Do any of us?” Herc was there now too, not touching, but hovering close.

“I sure as hell don’t. I’m sorry.”

John didn’t speak.

 

Thomas pressed his back against the bathroom door and breathed heavily. His reflection in the mirror let him know that he looked just as frazzled as he felt.

Why in the world was he at this damned café in the first place?

Right. James. Shit.

Thomas hadn’t even gotten his damned coffee.

 

tankengine: jemmy I’m holed up in the bathroom at theodosias help

 

jemmy: Thomas what the fuck

 

tankengine: the four of them are out there having a moment I think

 

jemmy: about that

 

Thomas’s hands shook. Did he know?

 

jemmy: would you want to go one a date sometime

 

jemmy: sorry

 

jemmy: that was abrupt

 

tankengine: no no I’d like that

 

tankengine: I’d like that a lot

 

 

 

“No, Mr. Henry, I don’t believe that’s the case.”

Angie tapped her feet impatiently against the leg of her desk. Rolled back her shoulders and checked the length of the phone call. Twenty damn minutes.

“I think you’re missing the point. This- this _monster_ cannot be allowed to occupy office. He should be punished for his crimes, and as far as I know- would you _please_ let me continue, Mr. Henry- oh! Oh, now you’ve gone too far. Call me back once you’ve found your self-respect and your logic. Goodbye, Mr. Henry!” she snarled, hanging up decisively.

“Christ. He sounded like a bitch.”

“He is, Eliza, he sure is.”

“Peggy’s sending me angry texts about her algebra.”

“Henry is a stupid, ignorant shit bag. I can’t handle him, ‘liza.”

She sighed, smiled, and stood to pat Angelica’s shoulder. “You’re strong, Angie. I’m meeting Maria at Theodosia’s in an hour.”

“Ugh, can’t you be in love _privately_?”

“Nope, sorry, I’ve gotta shout it from the rooftops!” Eliza twirled like a child around the coffee table, despite Angelica’s affronted stare.

Silly kids in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was really hard to write and it's kinda short and i've been listening to the same five songs on constant repeat for three days help
> 
> anywayyyyy questions from And_Penny (also her love for herc makes me so happy bc he's my son and he's kinda me tbh so theres that)
> 
> q: what's your favorite season?  
> a: fall for sureeeeee (i don't like the sun so the gray weather is like heaven)
> 
> q: long or short sleeves?  
> a: short
> 
> q: how do feel about dresses?  
> a: i actually really like them! they make me feel very feminine and powerful and it's cool af. the problem with dresses are that they are so gendered... like, guys in dresses and girls in suits shouldn't be a problem for people ugh. 
> 
> q: which social media platform do you use the most?  
> a: mmmmm probably youtube, but i use ao3 and instagram a shit ton
> 
> q: spots or stripes?  
> a: spots
> 
> q: what do you think your aura looks like?  
> a: blue or violet, i think
> 
> q: are you into spiritual/witchy stuff (tarot, energy, etc)?  
> a: in a sense- i haven't really gone down the rabbit hole yet but it fascinates the shit out of me
> 
> q: do you like candy? if so, what are your favorites?  
> a: my sweet tooth is bigger than donald trumps ego. crunch bars and twix are my favorite american candies, but the best by farrrr is smil and kvik lunsj from norway. some good shit right there.
> 
> q: how do you pronounce caramel, pecan, and croissant?  
> a: car-mel (i know i know), pee-cahn (the texas way), and croy-sant (how the hell do pronounce anything in french)
> 
> ahhh i love you guys!! stay strong and happy and check out poplar street by glass animals bc its amazing ok


	35. The Sun Will Rise Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yell at me for not updating last weekend and then yell at me bc this is short and then yell at me more bc this is the last chapter and im totally not crying

Herc got his blueberry muffin.

John had laughed at him about it, but he got it anyway.

“What is it with you and your muffins?”

 

 

maria: just got a text from laf to stay far far away from theodosias

 

eliza: wait what why

 

maria: all four of them are there

 

eliza: fuckkkkkkkk

 

maria: yeah

 

eliza: um your place? angies being annoying

 

maria: always

 

maria: do you want to move in with me?

 

maria: sorry was that too forward

 

eliza: god yes

 

eliza: of course

 

 

Peggy had a free period at the end of the day, which she took to mean that she could skip class. She slipped out into the city, took a deep breath, and headed for their apartment building.

 

James was perched on the arm of the couch, hands tucked under his thighs, worrying his bottom lip. The door unlocked. He gulped.

 

Angelica’s city was waiting for her, just through this last email. She was doing it.

 

They talked. They talked about everything and anything. They talked and they sat together and John tucked his hand under Alexander’s and they cried some more.

 

The sun set slowly over New York, though admittedly earlier than before. Dusk clung to the skyscrapers and the alleyways turned dark gray as the night grappled for ownership of the city.

Theodosia’s stayed lit, though the sign had been flipped to _closed_ as an afterthought.

In the window seat of an apartment on the third floor, Eliza played with her fiancé’s hair, legs tucked beneath her. Maria leaned into her touch, eyes unfocused as she watched the horizon.

Angelica nursed another cup of coffee, highlighter posed over a stack of documents, skimming affidavits and chewing through her bottom lip. She brought her eyes up to the window and wondered what happened to the golden road she knew as a child.

Underneath a pile of blankets, flipping through her phone, Peggy Schuyler decided to ignore the tests she had coming up for the safety and ignorant bliss of the internet.

For night was coming early, but the sun would rise again.


	36. Idk Pt. this is the last one

fucking hell

 

this brings ragtfy to an end, folks. took me a while to put that last chapter together and its short as fUCK but... how in the world am i supposed to wrap this up? hold up i can't be crying while i write this dammittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt. 

 

k i'm back pls send help

 

i'll be working on ivy for the next couple of weeks. don't know when that will update because the verse needs some extreme cpr ugh. i explained more on the status of that series in "the good in me" so check that out for info. 

 

ahHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i want to thank every last one of you for sticking with me to the end??? i love you all so much and i'm so fucking glad i started on this journey. this community has been my saving grace and and you guys have been here since that god awful first chapter of ragti to that short drabble in chapter 36. i woke up this morning to see that the love/war verse is coming to a close and now i'm here writing the goodbye-to-this-polysquad note. life's crazy, isn't it? 

 

christ i don't know what to write here fuckkkkk. 

here's the thing. if you're considering in any way, shape, or form publishing on this site, fucking do it. i was terrified to do it, but i've been writing as long as i can remember and god, this journey has helped so much. we're all here for you.

anyway, i leave you here with one last note- GO LISTEN TO VENICE THE MUSICAL AND LOVE IT BC APPARENTLY IM THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS IT EXISTS AND LIKE WILLOW HAD 63 VIEWS AND IM PRETTY SURE IT WAS ALL ME SO 

 

well, i love you all and it's so hard to say goodbye to this fic. stick around, mah dudes. 

 

<3, rosy


End file.
